Battling Self-Doubt

As writers, we have a lot of voices in our heads, even on days when we take our medication. Many of these voices are intensely negative. I want to talk about two such voices: Self-Doubt, and the Internal Editor.

At first, these voices may seem similar; both are very critical of your writing. But if you listen carefully, you can tell them apart.

The Internal Editor is all business – just doing his job. When he spots problems in your work, he’ll be as specific as he can, and he’ll try to offer suggestions. “Your first chapter is boring,” he’ll say. “Cut it.” Or: “Death to the adverbs!” The Internal Editor is your friend, because his goal is the same as an external editor’s goal: to make your writing the best it can be.

Self-Doubt is lazy, lying on your couch all day, yelling out criticism but never offering to vacuum or help with the dishes. “You’re pathetic. Look at this thing you wrote. It’s terrible!”

If your Internal Editor is new and inexperienced, he may not be able to offer you many specifics or improvements. “This doesn’t work,” he may say, “but I don’t know how to fix it.” That’s okay. Keep reading, keep practicing. He’ll improve with time. But even from the beginning, his focus is on the work itself, and how to make it better.

Self-Doubt, on the other hand, just wants to hurt you; and because he’s inside your brain, he knows exactly how to do it. He insists that you are weak, that you are stupid, that you will never be good enough.

That’s what is known, among psychologists, as bullshit.

Telling stories is powerful, it is noble, it is brave, it is beautiful. Self-Doubt understands none of those words. That’s why he hates you. That’s why you have to beat him.

There are many strategies for this, but the one I know best is simple, dogged perseverance. Don’t engage your Self-Doubt directly, don’t argue with it, don’t analyze it, don’t drop down to his level. Just do your thing. Keep writing. Keep writing when you feel terrible. Keep writing when you get rejected. Keep writing when you think everyone else is better than you.

No matter what, keep writing.

I think of that song, Tubthumping, the singers ecstatically chanting its chorus with so much faith it transcends the cliche:

I get knocked down
But I get up again
They’re never going to keep me down

This is your creed. This is your map. If you say these words and believe them, there is only one voice that will matter anymore.

Yours.