Dark Roads

Congratulations are in order. Just last Thursday, author Natalie Whipple announced she had signed a two-book deal with publisher HarperTeen. In other words, she sold her novels. More importantly, she sold her first novels, meaning she’s finally achieved what I’m still working toward: her books are going to appear on shelves! Awesome.

(Incidentally, Natalie also critiqued the opening chapters of The Counterfeit Emperor for me, quite a while ago. Small world, as the Jovians say.)

However! Chances are, you have never heard of Ms. Whipple before today, so this news probably doesn’t mean a lot to you. What I want to talk about instead is this post, which she wrote back on December 1, 2010 – when she had an agent but no publisher, and things were looking far less hopeful. The whole thing is worth a read, but I’ll quote you the highlights (or lowlights, as it were):

This is the silent torture of those who’ve been out on sub[mission] for a long time. You’re not supposed to talk about it. You’re not supposed to admit to people how much it hurts. You can’t complain, because you have an agent and you should be grateful and so many authors would kill to be where you are. So you end up feeling guilty on top of sad, because as those passes pile up it does hurt. It shouldn’t, but it does.

And this:

Fifteen months, and I have not sold a book. I have watched some of my friends get agents and deals within this time. I hate to say it, but it hurt occasionally. And soon I will be seeing these books also come out before I sell. You start to wonder if you’re any good. You start to wonder if you made the right choice writing something different. You wonder what more you could have done when you’ve already worked so hard.

I’ll refrain from quoting the entire post, but suffice it to say that 2010 generally was the Year of Suck for her, for a lot of reasons. But she kept going, down a dark road with no obvious light at the end, and now she’s published. And I think that even if she had never managed to sell these books, she would’ve written more and kept trying until she got what she wanted.

Soon the name Natalie Whipple will be on Barnes & Noble shelves and Amazon web pages and all over the place, and newer, less successful authors may be tempted to look at her name with envy. She’s done it, she’s successful, why can’t I be like that? But it’s important to remember that the people we envy have, for the most part, been down the same dark roads that we have. Jealousy is natural, it happens, but jealousy doesn’t achieve your dreams for you. You only get there by pushing yourself onward, day by day, no matter what, even if you don’t see a light down the road.

Just last night I finally submitted my short story for Machine of Death volume 2. (A whole two days before the deadline!) They say they’ll announce their decisions October 31, which is a long time to wait. I have no idea if they’ll accept me or not. If they do, I’ll be thrilled.

If not, f*** it. I’m like the Terminator. I’ll keep on coming.