If you’re an unpublished author, possibly there is something in your brain that says: “Man, if I could just get that first novel published, then I’d be happy. I’d finally, finally feel successful, vindicated, and satisfied; nay, I would walk around in a continual state of semi-orgasmic bliss, because that is what published authors do.”
Well, I did a quick survey of my Published Author Friends (all eighty-five of them) and it turns out they’re not quite in a continual state of semi-orgasmic bliss, but they’re really close. The only problem is, that first novel didn’t sell quite as well as they’d like, and they’re hoping the next one will do better. That, and a few more good reviews. Then they’ll be happy.
You’re smart people, so I won’t belabor this point: unpublished envies published, published envies successful, successful envies movie deal, movie deal envies movie-that-doesn’t-suck deal, Stephen King envies William Golding, and the whole little world goes round. Happiness is always just one step away – if only X, if only Y – and you’re never quite actually there.
This phenomenon is called the hedonic treadmill, and it’s been on my mind a lot lately.
It isn’t just about writing, of course. All life is like this. It’s most blatantly obvious in advertising: every shiny, NEW product is the the thing that will finally make you happy. Buy this NEW cologne, and suddenly you’ll have an exciting life full of fast cars and sexy ladies. I want to walk into their advertising office brandishing a copy of last year’s ads shouting, hey! What about that cologne? Wasn’t that one supposed to get me fast cars and sexy ladies? If the last one worked as advertised, why would I need this new one? Hey, Armani! Your advertising claims are not internally consistent!
(Note: I have never actually bought cologne. Possibly this is why I drive a 2006 four-cylinder base-model Honda Accord.)
Here’s the thing, though: we’ve heard all this before. Success and happiness are transient, learn to live in the moment.
Right?
Let me ask you something. Have you ever really tried to live in the moment? I don’t mean just to enjoy a sunset, or try to be happy with the person you love, although these are wonderful things. I mean have you ever really tried to shift your entire outlook on life so that you’re no longer focused on the future but actually just drinking in the present, accepting it fully no matter how much it may sometimes suck?
I have. And it’s hard. Really, really hard. Like, depressingly hard. It’s a constant effort, and every time you fail at it – which is roughly two hundred times a day – you feel like a failure. Or maybe that’s just me and the bizarre workings of my brain.
I think I’m starting to ramble. My point is this: the hedonic treadmill is a no-win game, living in the moment has its own problems, and any trade-off or “balance” between these two will have some of the problems of both.
So, uh (tries to act casual) anybody got the secret to happiness in life? Leave it in the comments!
Brian D. Buckley 
Ah yes. Living in the moment. I’ve dedicated quite a bit of time and money into living in the moment.
I suppose the key is to enjoy the process without being too hung up on the outcome. But true, this is difficult when you’re mind is in the future you want or the past you wish never happened.
Want a tip? A secret? Meditation.
But real meditation, where you focus on something to the point where you stop thinking. The idea is to stop thinking, to be fully in the now and that is what meditation is all about.
It’s hard and takes a very long time before it takes effect. I suggest Holosync by Centerpointe or something similar that also works (I don’t know if it exists though since I’ve only used Holosync). It’s special music you listen to that makes your brain produce the same brain waves it would produce if it were meditating, so you don’t do much, just listen and it does it automatically.
Holosync and all the hundreds of books and practices I’ve tried have indeed changed my life.
I’ve had days where I was completely happy…even though my circumstances hadn’t actually changed. I was in the moment and the moment was great.
But it’s difficult to keep there. I often go unconscious and walk the treadmill again, especially as I struggle to make my external life reflect how I feel inside (often I end up doing the opposite, which isn’t fun).
Um..yeah, sorry for the multiple comments. I will probably do a blog post about this since it’s very important to me. I used to have suicidal depression and after my mother died, I turned to everything and anything for help.
So um, yeah. There ya go. My 2…5…100 cents on the subject. đ
Hey Amber! Thanks for giving me such a thoughtful answer. Sorry to hear about your mother.
I’ve actually meditated quite a lot lately, in keeping with the whole Zen thing – but I found that I seemed to get depressed even more when I was trying to be Zen. Not really sure why. I may start it up again soon and see if I can figure it out. I had never heard of Holosync, though, that sounds very intriguing.
I would definitely be interested in reading a post about this on your blog, if you’re so inclined.
Ah sorry about all the comments. Please delete the extra ones. I would if I knew how…