Brian D. Buckley

This past weekend, Betsy’s grandmother celebrated her 90th birthday. Betsy and I gave her an mp3 player we had loaded with the #1 hit song for every year from 1925 – her birth year – to 2014. (For the most part, I used Tsort to tell me which song was #1.)

Reading the list is like stepping in a time machine, only without all those pesky paradoxes. You can, of course, hear any of these songs by searching for them on YouTube.

1925 – Ben Bernie – Sweet Georgia Brown
1926 – Gene Austin – Bye Bye Blackbird
1927 – Hoagy Carmichael – Stardust
1928 – Jimmie Rodgers – T For Texas (Blue Yodel No 1)
1929 – Eddie Cantor – Makin’ Whoopee
1930 – Ben Selvin – Happy Days Are Here Again
1931 – Cab Calloway & His Cotton Club Orchestra – Minnie the Moocher
1932 – Fred Astaire & Leo Reisman – Night and Day
1933 – Ethel Waters – Stormy Weather (Keeps Rainin’ All the Time)
1934 – Benny Goodman – Moonglow
1935 – Fred Astaire – Cheek to Cheek
1936 – Bing Crosby – Pennies From Heaven
1937 – Benny Goodman – Sing, Sing, Sing (With A Swing)
1938 – Artie Shaw – Begin the Beguine
1939 – Judy Garland – Somewhere Over the Rainbow
1940 – Glenn Miller – In the Mood
1941 – Glenn Miller – Chattanooga Choo Choo
1942 – Bing Crosby – White Christmas
1943 – The Mills Brothers – Paper Doll
1944 – Bing Crosby – Swinging on a Star
1945 – Les Brown & Doris Day – Sentimental Journey
1946 – Perry Como – Prisoner of Love
1947 – Francis Craig – Near You
1948 – Dinah Shore – Buttons & Bows
1949 – Vaughn Monroe – Riders in the Sky
1950 – Nat King Cole – Mona Lisa
1951 – Nat King Cole – Too Young
1952 – Jo Stafford – You Belong to Me
1953 – Les Paul & Mary Ford – Vaya Con Dios (May God Be With You)
1954 – The Chordettes – Mr. Sandman
1955 – Bill Haley & His Comets – Rock Around the Clock
1956 – Doris Day – Que sera sera (Whatever will be will be)
1957 – Elvis Presley – Jailhouse Rock
1958 – The Kingston Trio – Tom Dooley
1959 – Bobby Darin – Mack the Knife
1960 – Elvis Presley – Are You Lonesome Tonight
1961 – Chubby Checker – Let’s Twist Again
1962 – Pat Boone – Speedy Gonzales
1963 – Elvis Presley – (You’re The) Devil in Disguise
1964 – Roy Orbison – Oh, Pretty Woman
1965 – The Rolling Stones – (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction
1966 – Frank Sinatra – Strangers in the Night
1967 – Procol Harum – A Whiter Shade of Pale
1968 – The Beatles – Hey Jude
1969 – The Beatles – Get Back
1970 – The Beatles – Let It Be
1971 – George Harrison – My Sweet Lord
1972 – Don McLean – American Pie
1973 – The Rolling Stones – Angie
1974 – Carl Douglas – Kung Fu Fighting
1975 – Billy Swan – I Can Help
1976 – ABBA – Dancing Queen
1977 – Eagles – Hotel California
1978 – Bee Gees – Stayin’ Alive
1979 – Blondie – Heart of Glass
1980 – Pink Floyd – Another Brick in the Wall (part 2)
1981 – Kim Carnes – Bette Davis Eyes
1982 – Survivor – Eye of the Tiger
1983 – Irene Cara – Flashdance (What a Feeling)
1984 – George Michael – Careless Whisper
1985 – USA for Africa – We Are the World
1986 – Berlin – Take My Breath Away
1987 – Whitney Houston – I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)
1988 – Phil Collins – A Groovy Kind of Love
1989 – Madonna – Like a Prayer
1990 – Sinead O’Connor – Nothing Compares 2 U
1991 – Bryan Adams – (Everything I Do) I Do it For You
1992 – Whitney Houston – I Will Always Love You
1993 – UB40 – Can’t Help Falling in Love
1994 – Ace of Base – The Sign
1995 – Coolio – Gangsta’s Paradise
1996 – Los Del Rio – Macarena
1997 – Elton John – Candle in the Wind
1998 – Celine Dion – My Heart Will Go On
1999 – Britney Spears – Baby One More Time
2000 – Madonna – Music
2001 – Kylie Minogue – Can’t Get You Out of My Head
2002 – Eminem – Lose Yourself
2003 – OutKast – Hey Ya!
2004 – Usher – Yeah!
2005 – Madonna – Hung Up
2006 – Shakira & Wyclef Jean – Hips Don’t Lie
2007 – Rihanna & Jay-Z – Umbrella
2008 – Leona Lewis – Bleeding Love
2009 – Lady Gaga – Poker Face
2010 – Eminem & Rihanna – Love The Way You Lie
2011 – Rihanna & Calvin Harris – We Found Love
2012 – Gotye & Kimbra – Somebody That I Used to Know
2013 – Robin Thicke, T.I. & Pharrell – Blurred Lines
2014 – Pharrell – Happy

Bring back any memories? I love “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” “Let It Be,” “Kung Fu Fighting,” “Lose Yourself,” and “Poker Face.” Draw your own conclusions.

A little over a week ago, Sir Tim Hunt, a 72-year-old Nobel Prize-winning biochemist, made the following remark at a public talk in Korea:

Let me tell you about my trouble with girls. Three things happen when they are in the lab. You fall in love with them, they fall in love with you, and when you criticise them, they cry.

So, Mr. Hunt made some comments that were sexist, insensitive, and potentially hurtful. (He has since apologized.)

What he did not do was sacrifice a kitten to Beelzebub whilst reciting Mein Kampf, which is what you might think, based on the general reaction:

• According to Hunt and his wife, University College London (UCL) told Hunt less than twenty-four hours later that he must resign or be fired from his position as Honorary Professor. He resigned. (Admittedly, UCL’s official statement tells a different story, claiming they received his resignation before they were able to contact him for discussion.)
• Hunt also resigned from the European Research Council (ERC), also – evidently – under pressure.
• He has been widely pilloried in the news. CNN began their story with the words: “It’s safe to say few tears have been shed by women in science over the resignation of Nobel-winning scientist Sir Tim Hunt after his now infamous comments regarding his experience of ‘girls’ in laboratories.”
• Hunt’s comments, as well as the man himself, have been the target of the #distractinglysexy Twitter campaign, in which (mostly) female scientists post mocking and sarcastic comments and pictures to demonstrate that they are not distracting to their male colleagues. (To be fair, the comments are – for the most part – lighthearted rather than malicious.)
• At the moment, it appears that Hunt’s career has been effectively ruined.

Look, I get it. Sexism in math and science is a big issue, and comments like his are a potential setback to the progress toward equality that has been earned only with great effort and at great cost. He shouldn’t have said it. Nobody – least of all Hunt himself – is arguing that point.

But there is such a thing as proportional response. You correct the error publicly, you make sure it won’t happen again, and you move on. You don’t tarnish a lifetime of accomplishment because of a brief, well-meaning but ill-conceived joke.

Physicist Athene Donald, who knew Hunt personally – and who has devoted enormous energy to promoting gender equality in science – wrote a wonderfully sane and insightful response. She says, in part:

I was naturally appalled by his remarks, but I think it is worth asking what damage they have caused and whether the response actually helps the situation…My impression is firmly of a man who genuinely supports people, whatever their gender, background or specific interests.

Now, perhaps we can get on to the issues that really matter. Like Donald Trump’s campaign.

A high school student was supposed to meet his English teacher for a study session. He called her up and said, “Where you at?”

In a severe tone she replied, “One should never end a sentence with a preposition.”

He thought a second, then said, “Where you at, bitch?”

“Did you give him the money?”

“Well, listen, here’s what happened – ”

“Did you give him the money, yes or no?”

People sometimes feel that a yes-or-no question should be answered (or answerable) with one or the other, a single word, and that anything else means the responder is being evasive.

Sometimes this feeling is correct. Sometimes there really is a simple yes or no, and they’re trying to confuse the issue.

But many times, the best answer or most direct answer isn’t a simple yes or no. The term “yes-or-no question” is, in fact, misleading. There are plenty of perfectly valid responses not covered by either word. Responses like…

A clear answer exists, but you refuse to give it.

Maybe the answer would compromise your privacy, someone else’s trust, national security, or any of a million other interests.

Maybe answering would set a bad precedent (e.g., the answer is in the FAQ, and you don’t want to keep re-answering it forever).

Maybe you just don’t feel like answering, and you don’t need a specific reason, because the questioner is Not the Boss of You.

A clear answer exists, but you’re not certain what it is.

Maybe you have no idea.

Maybe you have a good guess, but you’re not 100% sure. Maybe the source for your answer isn’t entirely reliable.

Maybe the answer theoretically exists, but is unknowable at this time (e.g. “Will it rain three weeks from today?”).

Maybe you don’t know right at the moment, but given some time, you could look it up or figure it out.

No clear answer exists; the answer is undefined.

Is fan fiction legal in the U.S.? It isn’t just that you don’t know the answer; the answer literally does not exist. It depends on a judge’s interpretation of a law, and that interpretation has not yet been given.

The question is defective in some way.

Maybe the question is ill-defined. (“Is this the best way to get to Cleveland?” “Well, what do you mean by ‘best’? Do you mean fastest? Easiest? Cheapest?”)

Maybe the question contains a false assumption. (“Have you finished writing the Sandburg Report yet?” “Uh, you didn’t assign that to me.” Technically “no” would be the correct answer there, but it’s certainly not the best answer.)

Maybe you need more information to answer the question; “It depends.”

The answer is complex.

“Are your students doing their homework?” “Well, the majority are pretty consistent. Several have struggled in the past, but they’re getting better. Amy and Tristan haven’t turned in a single assignment all year.”

A literal, unqualified yes or no would be misleading.

“Do you think we should outlaw these horrible activities?” “No…because I think existing laws prohibit them already, and we can fight this most effectively by enforcing the laws we have.”

You are unable to process the question.

Maybe you didn’t hear what they said.

Maybe you’re too tired, confused, or drunk to come up with a good answer.

Maybe the question is too complicated for you to understand.

Maybe English (or whatever) isn’t your first language, and you’re still trying to figure out what they asked.

Obviously the list above is not exhaustive, and many questions or situations could fall under multiple categories. But I think the point is clear: yes-or-no questions are not always yes or no. It’s a false dichotomy – like most dichotomies are.

Love the complexity. Embrace the fuzzy.