I was all set for today’s post, hypothetical reader. I had this great idea: take the major candidates for President and make a funny (and, if possible, insulting) anagram out of each one of their names. Amusing! Topical! Word-related! I fired up the anagram generator, I got out my pencil, and I was ready to go.
Except – as so often happens – the candidates did not cooperate.
Yeah, there were a few decent ones. Herman Cain gives you “Inane Charm,” Mitt Romney is “Metro Minty,” Newt Gingrich is “Wrenching Git.” But Rick Perry’s name is a veritable fortress, and Jon Huntsman and Barack Obama don’t give you much to work with either. Ron Paul is “Our Plan,” which is sort of neat but not funny, and “Oral Pun,” which is sort of funny but doesn’t really make sense. And Michele Bachmann, despite a promising start (her name contains “maniac,” for pete’s sake!) never really goes anywhere.
So much for that idea, right?
But wait a minute – there’s one guy left. Rick Santorum to the rescue!
It turns out Senator Rick Santorum is far and away the front runner…in generating awesome anagrams. This guy brings more to the table than all the others combined. He is, truly, the gift that keeps on giving.
And so, just like the Constitution, I’ll cut this preamble short and get straight to the main event:
The Rick Santorum Top Ten
10. Stork Cranium
9. Runt Mocks Air
8. Can Risk Tumor
7. No Karmic Rust
6. Cram Our Stink
5. Crank Tourism
4. Murk On, Racist
3. Moist Urn Rack
2. A Scrotum Rink
And the #1 Rick Santorum anagram, my personal favorite…
1. Struck A Minor
I mean, I’m no Santorum fan, but even if you are (they must exist somewhere), come on. “Struck a minor”? That could be, like, a campaign slogan. Give it to your marketing guys. Hell, just put it on a bumper sticker: Rick Santorum Struck A Minor. It sells itself!
What say you, good people? Know any excellent anagrams – political or otherwise?
(Please note: the amount of personal politics you decide to spout in your comment is directly proportional to the the probability I will delete it. Thank you!)
Brian D. Buckley 
Very creative! I’m not much for anagrams, however. I only discovered they existed thanks to The Da Vinci Code and that’s just sad.
Haha it’s cool. I devoured that book in like two days, so I’m not one to look down on anybody.
I feel that politics most likely represents a possible situation where I am almost always correct and that any opinion you have is most assuredly negatively untruthful especially about the right to take possible freedoms and distribute them categorically in the left wing conservative neo-political isomorphic distribution center.
Is that enough personal politics to get deleted?
Apparently not! Haha.