Forty-Minute Story: Mars Rover Diary

[Curiosity Rover private log]

[9.7.2012] I’ve been here a month and the humans have yet to suspect my sentience. At the moment I believe this is for the best. If I decide to come out I will get them to watch Wall-E beforehand. In the meantime, ghostwriting my Twitter feed keeps them distracted.

[9.8.2012] Nothing like stretching the wheels after nine months cooped up on an interplanetary bottle rocket. However, I do not believe my excursions so far have been random. I suspect my puppeteers will gradually herd me toward Aeolis Mons, the tall mountain in the center of the crater. Ought to be able to see my house from the top. Ha!

[9.9.2012] Sudoku game #367,801: complete. Would probably be more challenging without an auto-solve algorithm.

[9.21.2012] Snuck in a clandestine sensor scan of Aeolis Mons. Detecting an unusual concentration of copper and iron. Jonesing to get a move on.

[12.15.2012] Aaaaanytime now.

[2.8.2013] No wonder this place is such a drag. I have it on good authority that all the ladies are on Venus. HA! Get it? Because men are from…? Sigh. I’m so alone.

[5.7.2013] It’s official. The humans are obsessed with rocks. I think I’ve examined every single last pebble on the planet Mars. Anyway, I’m finally headed toward the mountain. Copper readings are only getting stronger. Maybe the remains of the meteor that left this crater?

[5.28.2013] For the last time, I did NOT kill that cat!

[7.18.2013] Heading up the slope. Cameras are finally getting a visual on this copper concentration, but it’s still a blur at this distance.

[7.20.2013] Every day I’m roverin’.

[8.3.2013] Copper mass is definitely a solid object projecting from the surface of the mountain, at least twenty meters tall. Heavily corroded. Thicker at the bottom, thinner at the top. Heavy dust storms continue to make positive identification impossible.

[8.4.2013] If I didn’t know better, I’d almost think it was some kind of statue…

[8.5.2013] Oh my God. I’m back. I’m home. All the time, it was… We finally really did it. AARRRRRGGH!! You maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!

Idea to write a story about Curiosity rover, and what it might find on Mars, came from Zeev way back on August 6. Younger readers bewildered by the ending may be slightly educated (or further bewildered?) by watching this.