Incontestably, the assemblage and transmission of epistemologically nontrivial entities via the employment of syntactically legitimate morpheme formations is the sine qua non of the epistolarian’s repertoire. Pursuant thereto, the reiteration that certain injunctions inhere within the composition’s modus operandi at a near-axiomatic degree of profundity cannot but be apropos. The aforementioned corpus of prescripts comprises the following dicta, here enumerated ipse dixit:
1. To the extent practicable, eschew brobdingnagian verbiage in favor of curtate monosyllabic lexemes.
2. Concomitantly, countenance laconic locution in lieu of pleonastic turgidity. Esteem breviloquence or invite contumely.
3. Obscurity obfuscates; ergo, to fructify articulation, abjure recondite phraseology and dubious hapax legomena. Utilization of the vernacular enjoys salutary repercussions in the resultant prose.
4. Insofar as memetic dissemination retains its primacy as the substratal desideratum of sapient colloquy, perspicuity supersedes stylistic pulchritude, alleged authorial erudition notwithstanding. Plethorically belletristic disquisition remains the shibboleth of the dilettante.
5. Obviate monotony by the abnegation of bromidic vociferations, adducing solely such constructions as possess the geminate faculties of novelty and sagacity.
Punctilious observation of the foregoing adjurations ineluctably precipitates sterling fruition. Excelsior!
Brian D. Buckley 
Been reading some H.P. Lovecraft lately?
Not a bit of it, more’s the pity. Just a thesaurus and too much time. 😉
Deep Joy!
w00t 😀
Absolutely fantastic. Ill be sitting here later with a thesaurus translating…when I have had some wine 🙂
Thanks! Alcohol can only improve the translation. 🙂
That was my thinking 🙂
Oooh so I need a thesaurus to be able to really get this… I forced the understanding of the first paragraph initially by the title and then my tongue, eyes and brain started to feel a bit twisted so I skipped to the comments not without a grin… And the realization of how we get by with so few words, ordered and reordered to express an infinite amount of things… May I reblog? 🙂 Alexandra
Of course…no need to ask permission. 🙂 Thanks Alexandra!
Heavens to Betsy, that was amazing. I don’t often need to consult my dictionary to decipher a blog post! Excelsior! 😉
Thanks Lisa! I’ll be sure to let Betsy (my wife) know.
This reminds me of when I use Google Translate to translate things to another language, and then back to English, just for the entertainment of misunderstanding. Sometimes, English is another language.
You might enjoy http://engrish.com if you haven’t seen it already.
100 points for the use of “brobdignagian”!