It’s Not Easy Being Snooty

And I should know. I’ve wielded plenty of snootiness in my time.

See, to be a proper snoot (a.k.a. snob), it’s not enough to dislike a book, movie, show, or whatever. Everyone has preferences, everybody dislikes things. No, to really snoot it up, you must believe that certain works – even certain categories of art – are utterly worthless, completely undeserving of any attention whatsoever.

After all, the more you admit that a work you dislike has merit, the more you erode your essential snooty nature.

That’s tricky, though. Because as a snoot, you probably aren’t intimately familiar with the work you disdain. And that, in turn, leaves you open to snoot-derailing stealth attacks (SDSAs). You can pronounce that “sodas,” or really, any other way you want, because I only made up the name just now.

I love SDSAs. Here’s how they work:

  1. Find something the snoot thinks is worthless (let’s say Family Guy).
  2. Pick a quote or scene from it you know the snoot will like. Tailor it to your audience. (“I read a book about this sort of thing once.” “Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn’t … nothing?” “Oh yeah.”)
  3. Tell the quote to the snoot, but don’t give the source. If done correctly, the snoot will laugh (if it’s a joke) or otherwise acknowledge its quality.
  4. Tell the snoot where the quote comes from. An abrupt change in subject may follow.

Is it petty of me to do this? Probably. But it’s just so much fun.

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3 responses to “It’s Not Easy Being Snooty

  1. When talking with movie buffs, I like to talk about the (really) striking use of 3D in the last two Resident Evil movies. Now that I’m catching up on the Fast & Furious movies, I intend to draw examples from them, too, including the obvious Howard Hawks influence.

    And, of course, there’s the underlying themes and meanings of the Kill Bill movies.

    Oh, and I had fun with a feminist friend on Facebook (alliteration!) when she was being snooty about the Fantastic Four movie (which she hadn’t seen, of course) and I pointed out that Sue Storm was exactly the female superhero character that she (my friend) is always saying that she wants.

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