And I should know. I’ve wielded plenty of snootiness in my time.
See, to be a proper snoot (a.k.a. snob), it’s not enough to dislike a book, movie, show, or whatever. Everyone has preferences, everybody dislikes things. No, to really snoot it up, you must believe that certain works – even certain categories of art – are utterly worthless, completely undeserving of any attention whatsoever.
After all, the more you admit that a work you dislike has merit, the more you erode your essential snooty nature.
That’s tricky, though. Because as a snoot, you probably aren’t intimately familiar with the work you disdain. And that, in turn, leaves you open to snoot-derailing stealth attacks (SDSAs). You can pronounce that “sodas,” or really, any other way you want, because I only made up the name just now.
I love SDSAs. Here’s how they work:
- Find something the snoot thinks is worthless (let’s say Family Guy).
- Pick a quote or scene from it you know the snoot will like. Tailor it to your audience. (“I read a book about this sort of thing once.” “Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn’t … nothing?” “Oh yeah.”)
- Tell the quote to the snoot, but don’t give the source. If done correctly, the snoot will laugh (if it’s a joke) or otherwise acknowledge its quality.
- Tell the snoot where the quote comes from. An abrupt change in subject may follow.
Is it petty of me to do this? Probably. But it’s just so much fun.