My favorite holiday is upon us. No decorations, no cards, no annoying music, nothing you’re expected to lie to kids about. Just get together with the food you like and the people you love, and remember what a sweet deal it is to have food you like and people you love.
Hey, that almost sounds like something you could do even without a holiday.
See you Monday! (Unless I don’t.)
Brian D. Buckley 
No, I won’t see you monday (unless I don’t).
There confused now?
That’s not even the most confusing thing you’ve said this week.