The Ten Commandments of the Internet

…which, unlike the original Ten Commandments, are numbered:

  1. Never read the comments on a news story.
  2. If you read the comments on a news story, never, ever argue with the commenters.
  3. Be weird. Don’t be evil. Know the difference.
  4. Credit your source. Recognition is the currency of the Internet. Well, and sometimes money.
  5. Stay away from 4chan. If you don’t know what 4chan is, keep it that way.
  6. Beware of groupthink. The question is not whether you’re doing it, but how much.
  7. Don’t have anything on your website that auto-plays audio or video when the page loads. Don’t have popup ads. Don’t create a list of fifty things with every thing on a separate page. And by the way, if the first “content” I find on your site is a full-page window asking what I think of your site, you’re not going to like the answer.
  8. Self-promote in moderation. And don’t beg. It’s embarrassing.
  9. Remember that on rare occasions, information from the Internet has been known to be false.
  10. Don’t be a dick.

You’re welcome.

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7 responses to “The Ten Commandments of the Internet

  1. #11, DON’T TYPE IN ALL CAPS! But maybe that’s part of being a dick.

  2. “Don’t create a list of fifty things with every thing on a separate page.”

    In fact, don’t post a list of fifty things. Pick the best ones. Edit ruthlessly. Kill your darlings. Get it down to 25. Or, or preferably, 12-14. Maybe ten.

    I still remember a classic piece of click-bait I saw once. “Ten famous writers who are really dicks,” or some such. Each on a separate page, of course, with JK Rowling last, to make sure you click through all ten. Each classified as a dick based on one event.

    The funny one was Hemingway, who was classified as a dick because he was married four times. Now, Papa really was a dick, and anybody who does even some basic research can find much more persuasive evidence than his four marriages. 🙂

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