Brian D. Buckley, Editor
Kicking ass and taking names, and editing those names according to a style sheet, and also not kicking ass because that’s violent and I’m an editor.
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Brian D. Buckley 
Editors are kinder and gentler. Maybe you can whoop some tushie.
Apply a boot emphatically to the gluteal region?
Actually that sounds worse somehow…
Now I have the urge to write a mystery where an editor is the killer. You know, the least likely suspect…
I dunno…if the author’s motto is “Murder your darlings,” the editor’s motto must be something like “If you don’t, we’ll do it for you.”