So This Is a Thing That Exists

mr q cumber

Betsy and I discovered this at a local store. “Mr. Q. Cumber all natural sparkling cucumber beverage.” (Presumably sparkling refers to beverage only, but I’m tickled by the thought of a sparkling cucumber.)

We had to try it. It was just so weird.

I took the cap off and sniffed. It smelled like – well, like they’d put an actual cucumber in there. It was very strong.

It tasted sorta like pop (soda), all fizzy and kind of sweet, except instead of tasting like Coke or Mountain Dew, it tasted like cucumber. I thought it was sort of okay, while Betsy made an amazingly awful face and vowed off the stuff for eternity. We poured the rest of it down the drain.

I have to give these guys credit – this product is exactly as advertised. It is truly a sparkling cucumber beverage. But who actually drinks this stuff (more than once, I mean)? And who makes this stuff?

The latter question is easier to answer: Global Beverage Enterprises, whose website looks like it was created in 1997 and copyedited by precisely no one (complete with Earthlink email address). They even have a Twitter feed, @mrqcumberdrink, which has an impressive 209 followers, although their last tweet was over six months ago.

If it sounds like I’m making fun of them, well, I am, a little. But I also think the world could always use more weirdness, and I’m glad Global Beverage could deliver.

According to their site: “Many of our beverages will make you say, Wow, I wonder what that tastes like?”

They’re not wrong.

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2 responses to “So This Is a Thing That Exists

  1. Oddly, they have a gmail address as well, so they might be creating a series of layers for e-archeologists of the future to sift through.

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