How to be president (it’s super easy)

If you’re opposed by Congress,
then blame obstructionist Democrats.

If you’re opposed by the judicial branch,
then blame political judges.

If you’re opposed by the executive branch,
then blame the “deep state.”

If you’re opposed by state and local leaders,
then blame political grandstanding.

If you’re opposed by the American people,
then blame paid protesters.

If you’re opposed by election results,
then blame voter fraud.

If you’re opposed by other countries,
then blame other countries.

If you’re opposed by terrorists,
then blame refugees fleeing from terrorists.

If you’re opposed by empirical evidence,
then blame fake news.

If you’re opposed by Vladimir Putin,
then blame Hillary Clinton.

If you’re opposed by your own pathological inability to be president,
then blame Mika Brzezinski.

Wait, will anybody know who that is? Give it a few days.

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