Category Archives: Uncategorized

Yoda vs. Everybody 02 & 03: Emperor Palpatine & Batman

These first couple of battles, I was still figuring things out, so admittedly they’re not as cool as the later fights. Still, you might get a kick out of them. Enjoy!

Yoda vs. Emperor Palpatine:

Yoda vs. Batman:

Miswanting

In yesterday’s poem I used the word “miswanted.” This is not standard English, but perhaps you can guess what it means: wanting something that will not actually make you happy.

I didn’t invent the term. I got it from the book Thinking, Fast and Slow by the Nobel Prize-winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman. (He, in turn, attributes it to Daniel Gilbert and Timothy Wilson, who I would describe as “two people I had never heard of.”) Kahneman writes, “This word deserves to be in everyday language,” and I wholeheartedly agree. It’s an elegant term for a supremely important idea.

Wanting something that will not actually make you happy. How many hours and years do we spend chasing mirages of happiness that evaporate as we come near? And where do those mirages come from, anyway?

Kahneman says a big part of the problem is something called the focusing illusion, which he sums up this way:

Nothing in life is as important as you think it is when you are thinking about it.

In other words, mentally focusing on something makes it seem like a bigger deal than it really is.

This is how a car salesman gets you to buy a sunroof. As he describes it, you form a mental picture of yourself cruising down the freeway, the sun on your back and a breeze in your hair. You begin to think this mental picture would make a pretty nice reality.

Your fantasy neglects to mention two things. First, how often will you actually use this feature? And second, how much happier will you really be while using it?

Most of the time you spend driving, you’re not thinking about the gadgets in your car. You’re thinking about bills you have to pay, presents you have to buy, calls you need to make. That’s not going to change. Fundamentally, there’s a disconnect between the planning part of your brain and the experiencing self – the present-moment you, floating in a sea of sensations and feelings and thought.

What can you do about this?

The first and biggest step is simply to be aware that a disconnect exists. Before you spend money or time on something, make the effort to ask if you’re miswanting. If happiness is the goal, how much happier will this really make you? Is it possible you’d be better off without it?

Do you find yourself falling into this trap, and how do you avoid it?

A Poem for Tuesday

Everything lets go.
The oaks and elms release their browning leaves
as Mother Earth, yearly petulant, pulls back from
Grandmother Sun.
The crickets and locusts let go
of their raucous musicmaking
and huddle down in shadowed silences
awaiting the silent white.
Everything lets go. This is
not death but surrender,
not weakness but the wise slackening
of a too-tight grip on gleaming baubles miswanted.
The sin of falling Icarus, stretching greedy fingers
for Grandmother Sun, waving his wax-stained wings,
was not pride but possession:
not that he rose too high, but that he clutched too hard: striving
to have and have and have, and not
to be.

Postmortem: The Long Halloween

Mind if I drop in?

When you hear the phrase “New York Times best-selling classic,” you don’t normally think of a comic book. But then, Batman: The Long Halloween isn’t your average comic book.

Originally published as thirteen separate comics from 1996 – 1997, and now bound together as a single volume, the Long Halloween story continues to resonate fifteen years later. Christopher Nolan, director of the Dark Knight trilogy, calls it an “epic tragedy,” while Dark Knight Rises screenwriter David Goyer names this book “the preeminent influence” on the first two films.

But enough hype. Is it any good?

I just finished reading it yesterday. The answer is a resounding hell yes.

Black is so in this year.

The story revolves around a mysterious killer, called “Holiday” for the timing of his murders: Halloween, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, April Fool’s Day. Each of the thirteen parts centers around a different holiday, starting and ending with Halloween. The identity of Holiday is a mystery through most of the book, and trust me, when you finally learn the answer, it will be a surprise.

Long Halloween also tells the story of Harvey Dent’s transformation into the villain Two-Face, and boasts an impressive rogue’s gallery besides: Catwoman, the Joker, Scarecrow, Poison Ivy, the Mad Hatter, and the Riddler are all here, not to mention a few of the more exotic villains, like Solomon Grundy. But it isn’t just the supervillains on display: the story also features high drama in the mafia world, with two competing families battling for dominance of the Gotham empire.

Wayne Enterprises is going green.

That’s a lot of story to pack into one comic book, even one that’s 384 pages long. But dizzyingly complex though the plot may be, writer Jeph Loeb weaves the many threads together with surprising dexterity. The writing is the best I’ve ever seen in a comic book or graphic novel: far better than Kingdom Come, better than The Dark Knight Returns, and even better than one of my all-time favorites, The Killing Joke. The dialogue is snappy, the characters well-drawn and distinctive. From the very first line – a grim-as-death “I believe in Gotham City,” delivered by a Bruce Wayne shrouded in night – Long Halloween takes off running and never looks back.

But Batman’s strongest impact has always been visual, and here, Tim Sale’s artwork does not disappoint. His gorgeous use of color and darkness makes Gotham City come alive in all its shadowy glory. And Long Halloween‘s distinctive take on its characters’ appearance – from Catwoman’s unique costume to Poison Ivy’s leafy, prehensile hair – makes old names seem fresh again.

You two ever thought about cubicle work?

Speaking of Catwoman, her relationship with Batman is pitch-perfect here: just the right mix of flirty and felonious, never drifting too near the neat categories of hero or villain. In that respect, at least, Long Halloween completely upstages Dark Knight Rises.

If you’re waiting for a downside, there isn’t one. Sure, the plot can get a little tangled at times, but that won’t dampen your enjoyment. Buy this book, or borrow it from the library. Tear through it in a weekend. See how wonderfully gothic Gotham can be.

Read anything good lately?

Friday Links

blue++;

Ever wondered how much foreign aid the U.S. gives to other countries? The Foreign Assistance Dashboard has the answer. Simply hover over a country to see how much they received in any given year. $330 million to Mexico in 2012, $625 million to Nigeria, $180 million to Indonesia. It’s no exaggeration to say that most of the world gets U.S. money in one form or another.

Forrest Gump: the remake

One of my readers was kind enough to e-mail me a link to this short, graphical story. Titled “A Day at the Park,” it’s a surreal, philosophical conversation about questions and answers and what good they are in the end. I love the art style on this.

Computer scientists: more handsome than you thought.

Ars Technica has an interesting piece on what it’s like to be a computer scientist dealing with politicians in Washington, D.C. “The idea that something is impossible or that it’s practically impossible due to issues of compatibility and so on tends not to sink in,” says comp sci professor Ed Felten. Politicians tend to think that “any system can be broken, any system can be made secure, and it’s just a matter of throwing resources at problems.”

FDA warning: looking at this image may raise your cholesterol.

So apparently this exists: maple bacon donut.

Nihilism: cuter than you thought.

The Onion reports: Newborn Loses Faith In Humanity After Record 6 Days. Gaze into the abyss, little guy, and it shall gaze back into you. Now let’s put on your jammies!

I have a sudden urge to watch the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I mustache you a question.

This week: an SMBC double feature! Experience the Lovecraftian horror of Pac-Man, or see what happens when a lawyer gets a genie.

HAIR 2: RETURN OF THE HAIR

And finally: I can’t imagine the demographic for spelling bee humor is very large, but Penny Arcade has found their target audience in me.

That’s all for this week. Have a superlative weekend. See you on Monday!

Yoda vs. Everybody 01: Intro

Everybody’s busy these days, and I figure most of you aren’t going to sit down and watch a random 20-minute video, start to finish, all at once. So I thought I’d split it up into pieces. Here’s the intro:

Next week I’ll post the first battle.

Enjoy!

Yoda vs. Everybody

"Looks like Spielberg's work."

Let me tell you a story.

On January 22, 2004 – during my second year of college – I had an idea. My idea was that Yoda was hella badass, and that a video of him fighting lots of different opponents would be totally sweet.

Problem: I had few, if any, video-making skills. I was, however, pretty handy with MS Paint.

You can see where this is going.

Over the next month and a half, I worked obsessively, creating twenty different battles, an extra bonus fight, an intro, credits, and outtakes & deleted scenes. Frame by frame, over a thousand in all, handcrafted lovingly with the wonders of MS Paint. Complete with background music. Nineteen minutes long.

On March 7, 2004, Yoda vs. Everybody made its debut to a packed house. (Admittedly, the dorm rooms were pretty small.)

In spite of its Stone Age graphics, I loved that video as much as anything I’d ever made. Unfortunately, because I knew nothing about video editing, I ended up with a horrifically uncompressed file. I seem to recall it was something like 20 gigabytes, though that may be high. The point is, due to its massive size, making a backup would be cumbersome. I never got around to it. The file on my personal hard drive was the only copy that existed anywhere.

You can see where this is going.

Sometime in the autumn of October 2005, I moved from the dorms to an apartment, and my hard drive was damaged in the process. Unrecoverable, despite the heroic efforts of my fellow Computer Science majors. Yoda vs. Everybody was lost to the world forever, one of the minor tragedies of my own personal Bildungsroman.

Until now.

As I’ve mentioned, I recently took a graduate course in Digital Forensics – which involves, among other things, recovering data from hard drives. Armed with newfound knowledge and confidence, I retrieved my battered disk from the basement where I had still been keeping it, without much hope, just in case. I devoted a whole weekend back in July to the attempt. And with the help of some very powerful software called Active@ File Recovery, I was able to get back enough files to reconstruct the entire video, start to finish, music and all.

Yoda vs. Everybody lives again.

My friends have convinced me that this little relic deserves a wider audience. I’ve decided to put it on YouTube.

Wanna see?

Finding Joy in the Work Again

Eight months ago, I told you I was switching gears from writing a novel to building an artificial intelligence.

That was a monumental decision at the time. Switching gears meant switching dreams. It meant putting on hold – perhaps indefinitely – the goal that had driven me for almost a decade. It felt something like freedom and something like giving up. But most importantly, it wasn’t just the loss of novel-writing, it was the start of a new and exciting project – something I hoped desperately would last.

It has.

That big decision eight months ago seems even bigger now, because building an AI feels more and more like my life’s work, the project I was born to pursue.

How do I know? Because the work is joyful.

Not just the end goal, not just the finished project you can point to proudly and say, “Yes, that was me, I made that.” I mean the day-to-day, minute-to-minute act of building a thinking machine simply makes me happy. That’s what was missing with novel-writing, and that’s what I’ve finally gotten back.

For a while, I was working on the AI half an hour every day. A few weeks ago I upped that to an hour, and then an hour and a half. With each increase I loved the work more, spent more time in “the zone,” saw more progress by day’s end. Remarkably, I’m still reluctant to start the work; every day I have to convince myself fresh. But once I get over that first hurdle, I love what I’m doing.

What does AI give me that novel-writing didn’t? A lot of things:

  • AI is functional. Meaning, it doesn’t exist to create emotional reactions in others. It does something in itself. To be clear, I’m not saying functional pursuits are better or more important. Far from it. I am saying that, for me personally, it’s much easier to tell when the AI is working than when the novel is “working,” because the AI is, you know, doing things.
  • With AI, I know when I’m doing well. Closely related to the point above. One of the most frustrating things about writing a novel was that after five years of work, I still had no idea whether it was any good. With an AI, it’s much easier to measure the progress – and the quality. If the robot be gettin’ smarter, you be gettin’ better. (You can quote me on that.)
  • You can write an AI without being a great programmer. How? Because being a great programmer requires many different skills: reading unfamiliar code, using the full potential of a language, finding the most efficient algorithms, obeying customer requirements, finishing before deadline, following best practices, and a thousand other things. Sitting down by yourself to write an AI requires exactly none of those skills. With an AI, it’s the design that has to be exquisite. The code itself doesn’t have to be great, it only has to be good enough. Compared to the stress of writing a novel, where every word has to be just right, it’s a great relief.
  • AI-building uses a wider range of my skills than novel-writing. Designing an AI engages me in philosophy, psychology, language, math, and complex logic. Those last two didn’t get a lot of play when I was writing the novel. Yes, there’s certainly a kind of logic that goes on as you’re crafting a plot, and it certainly can get complex. But the specifications are less…precise. It’s hard to explain, but it feels different as I do it. It feels better.

I could go on, but if you’ve read this far, I’m sure you’ll thank me to wrap it up. So I’ll simply say that I’ve found joy in my work again, and it’s a good place to be.

Do you like what you’re doing right now?

Forty-Minute Story: Haggling at the Pit (Conclusion)

Last week:

“I’ll keep this short,” said Lanna. “Azmodel. I want you to kill me.”

The cave shook again with Azmodel’s laughter. “Oh, Lanna,” he cackled. “Do our talks bore you so much? Are you ready to end it so soon?”

“I didn’t say kill me right now,” she snapped, impatient with his antics. “Only when I ask you to.”

His laughter fell away, save for the occasional aftershock. He saw she was serious. At last only the remains of an amused smile were left on his face.

“But why?”

To be continued…

Lanna frowned. “You’ve heard of the wizard Ranalai?”

Azmodel chuckled like an avalanche, loosing cascades of dust from the ceiling. “I know more about Ranalai than he knows about himself, but that’s not saying much, the old fool. Sits on a cushion mumbling nonsense and calling it magic, not recognizing his own daughter when she feeds him gruel and dabs up his dribble. Oh, everyone’s heard of Ranalai.”

“He is a friend of mine,” she said sternly, “and ten years ago, when he spoke a Binding you leapt to obey. Ten years ago, he was like me. And ten years from now, I will be…”

“…like him.” For a moment his open-mouthed surprise overpowered his usual, contemptuous smile. Only a moment. “I don’t envy the poor physician who had to give you that news. The outlook must be dire indeed if you’d turn to me for a…cure. Tell me, if all you want is an early death, why not have a kindly friend put a knife between your ribs?”

“Because my kindly friend would be dead herself before the knife touched my skin,” Lanna answered, with a touch of pride. “I have not been idle these sixty years. My bones are protected by more charms than the Queen, charms not easily unraveled. Not that such trivial magics are any concern of yours.”

“But you can’t command me,” he said, blue eyes gleaming through the radiant smoke. “You don’t need my services yet, and by the time you do, you’ll be too weak for the Binding. You’ll have to ask.” He grinned, revealing an army of yellow teeth. “Nicely.”

“Azmodel – ”

“What do I get in return?”

“In return?” She nearly choked on the question. “I’ll be dead, and you’ll have one less miserable wizard ordering you around. Don’t tell me you won’t enjoy that.”

“To be sure. But by then, you’ll have no more strength for commanding anyone. And I might enjoy it even more, watching you try to guess your own name. What do I get in return, Lanna?”

She sighed, too tired to hate him anymore. “What do you want?”

“The words.” He leaned close with sudden hunger, and she stepped back, feeling the heat from his broad nostrils. “Let me speak the summoning words aloud.”

“If I do, then you give your word that you’ll keep the bargain?”

“My very word.”

Bemused, she thought it over a moment, then nodded.

Azmodel drew himself to a fearful height, rising on a tower of roiling fog, unnaturally bright. He threw apart his arms and scored the rock with his massive claws. The terrible joy of his voice was unlike anything she had ever heard:

“Rictus whispers in the dark,
Tow’ring tumults on the bark –
Master of the starless deep:
Lanna, now arise from sleep!”

She arched an amused eyebrow at his theatrics. “I hope you enjoyed saying that. You knew full well it didn’t have any power.”

“Neither has a cherry,” he said, sinking back into the smoking chasm. “But it does taste sweet on the tongue.”

In another moment, he was gone.

The End

Friday Links

Mucho linkage this week!

The bowling league they stole those pins from is gonna be piiiiissed

A video of the best team jugglers in the world. I love how the commentator, himself a professional juggler, gets increasingly bitter at how much better they are than him.

That's a pile of carp if you ask me.

The Onion reports on a promising new service offering short-term carp rental.

Resistance is fut...what? You've heard that one before?

Want to learn about electrical circuits, but don’t want to actually build one? Why not try the Virtual Circuits Lab?

Pale blue dot, up close

How about this: a 19-year-old kid from England strapped a £30 camera to a balloon, released it into space, and put the photos online. There’s hope for our world yet.

We have invented....a hockey puck.

Norwegian researchers have patented, and are selling, semiconducting graphene nanowire. Transistors built out of this stuff would be orders of magnitude faster than what we have today. Moore’s Law FTW.

I've got my eye on you, *water cooler*

Two Guys and Guy has another great comic this week. I admit it: I am this man.

mah face is an egg

SMBC has an excellent comic too, neatly summarizing my thoughts on gay marriage.

Don't hover, just click.

Louis C. K. is brilliant as always. In this clip, titled “Everything is Amazing and Nobody is Happy,” he goes off on people who complain about technology. Smart phone loading a web page too slow? “Give it a minute! It’s going to space! Can you give it a minute, to get back from space?

And finally: this.

Have a great weekend!