Postmortem: Atlantis

Imagine, if you will, a film starring Michael J. Fox. Co-starring Leonard Nimoy and Claudia Christian (Ivanova, for you Babylon 5 fans). Featuring linguistic work by Marc Okrand (the guy who created the Klingon language). Co-written by Joss Whedon. Animated by Disney, with a healthy dose of CG. And available on Netflix to boot.

Would Brian be interested in such a film? Yes, Brian would.

And Brian (who apparently is speaking in the third person now?) watched it with Betsy on Saturday.

So first of all: yep, it’s good. Apparently Whedon didn’t have a whole lot to do with it (there are five other co-writers, and I’m told his contribution ended up being minimal) but I daresay it still has a bit of a Whedon-ish vibe. Weird fantasy stuff? Check. Funnier than most sitcoms? Check. Girl with crazy/scary superpowers? Check. Lots and lots of death? El checko.

(Seriously, this is a kids’ movie that earns its PG rating. The sheer quantity of people who die onscreen is really remarkable. It’s not graphic or anything, but, I mean, damn.)

Nimoy’s voice acting as the king of Atlantis is great, but I loved hearing Claudia Christian even more. That’s partly because her character (blond on the right, above) doesn’t just sound like Ivanova from B5, she basically is Ivanova. Brave first officer on a dangerous mission, deeply sarcastic, the whole deal. Maybe a bit ethically challenged, but hey, they’ve gotta keep it fun.

Okay, I’ve rambled a lot about who is in the movie. But what’s it about?

To be honest, the plot isn’t super riveting. Ancient empire beneath the waves, plucky adventurer(s), exotic princess, a touch of genocide, glowy crystal magic, climactic battle — it’s all good stuff, but the dots connect in more-or-less typical Disney fashion. Where Atlantis shines is in the execution.

Visually, it’s beautiful, as I hope the screenshots convey. From the very first scene, Atlantis uses traditional animation and computer graphics in tandem, to powerful effect. Sometimes the character movements are a little over-the-top (a trait the film shares with Titan A.E., among others) but mostly it’s great.

The dialogue is top-notch too. The characters don’t just talk to move the plot along — they talk because they’re people who have something to say. In terms of making the movie come alive, everything basically clicks.

So is Atlantis the perfect movie? I remember thinking, about halfway through, that it actually kinda was. But the second half stumbled a bit IMO. Not any single thing, really — but the big “surprise” was obvious long in advance, and the pieces never quite came together in a really satisfying way. And even though the characters were vivid and realistic, I never fully connected with them. Not exactly sure why. Part of it may have been that there were just too many, so most of them — the princess especially — didn’t get enough screen time to really develop.

But it’s still a good time. And besides — I could forgive any number of flaws in a film that delivers this immortal line, which makes all writers on earth weep with jealousy because they didn’t think of it first:

Words of wisdom for us all.

Choose your own headline

This Washington Post headline is way better if you read “trolls” as a verb.

I’m just sayin’.

Thursday haiku

Snowless, not yet spring.
Bleak branches murmur of green.
Blanket of blank air.

Headline of the day

Well, not with that attitude.

Happy Pi Day, everyone. With any luck, my schedule should become slightly less crazy busy starting tomorrow, and maybe I’ll be able to do a real blog post once in a while.

Reductio ad absurdum

Local man arrested for drizzling balsamic glaze on surgical equipment in area hospital; claims he was “just following instructions”

Bunch of jerks

I’m studying Roman history, so I asked my Mexican friend if he knew the roman numeral for 100. He said “Sí,” but wouldn’t tell me the answer.

Then I asked my German friend if she would tell me what roman numeral IX means, but she said “Nein.”

Finally I asked my Japanese friend if he’d translate the Latin word altum for me, and he said “Hai,” but he never did.

It’s like, okay. You don’t want to help me, fine. But at least talk to me in English!

The riddle revealed

As two loyal readers commented yesterday, “crude inky blab” is an anagram for Brian D. Buckley. (I have smart readers!) Consider it an easter egg.

Incidentally, the first digital easter egg — or at least the first one to get famous — was in the 1980 Atari game Adventure, and you can read all about it here. Reminder: don’t piss off your programmers.

Less bloggy, more worky.

The riddle of “crude inky blab”

With my latest editing project keeping me so busy, blog posts will be on the short side for the next week or two. So it seems like a good time to mention this.

The blog has been subtitled “crude inky blab” ever since the very first post, seven years ago. But why that particular phrase? It’s not just a little self-deprecating description. Those three words were precisely chosen for a very specific reason. I would never have used “crude inky chatter,” for instance.

Can anyone tell what’s special about the phrase? I’ll give the answer tomorrow if nobody gets it, but you don’t need any special knowledge to figure it out — you have all the information you need.

Happy Monday

Q. What is it called when the pope sends a letter to his former girlfriend?

A. Ex communication.

CAR!!!

We live on a very low-traffic road, so when a car goes by, it’s kind of a big deal. Some of us point, wave our arms, and go “DUH-duh-dah-dahh!!”

Happy weekend, everyone.