So many things in this world are tantalizingly close, just out of reach.
Artificial intelligence, for example. I swear I could build an AI if I could just glimpse the spark, the key intuition, that would bring it all together. Once I achieved that, the rest would be mere details.
Of course, I have no idea if that’s true. But that’s how it feels. So I sit and draw AI diagrams, trying to imagine what it is that’s so close I can taste it, just on the tip of my tongue, something that’s out there waiting to be discovered.
Zen enlightenment is like this. So often, when meditating, I swear I’m on the verge of feeling it, somewhere inside or outside my head. Probably that’s nonsense, but the feeling is there. As if a thin, translucent veil hangs in front of my eyes, and if it could only be parted…
Why do I feel this way? Is there anything to it, or is it just basic human optimism?
It’s hard to say, maybe impossible. But as long as I feel that way, I have hope.
I wonder what Albert Camus would say about that.
Brian D. Buckley 
I used to meditate in hope of some sort of enlightenment, but eventually got tired/bored and gave it up, but now I’m meditating again. Only now I’m meditating to help me focus on my courses and it’s helping. It feels so good to be doing it again. I don’t know about you, but it helps me enormously with problem solving.
I haven’t noticed a connection with problem solving, but it does feel good when I do it. Glad it’s helping you.
Do you do sound meditation? (music/CD/bells etc) Or are you more traditional?
I generally don’t do sound meditation. The flavor I practice is zen, specifically Soto zen, and even more specifically “shikantaza” or “just sitting” meditation. It’s pretty much what it sounds like – you just sit, without any particular focus, letting thoughts go as they arise, not attaching to anything. Easier said than done! 🙂