If babies were cars
- You have to stop every three hours to fill up the tank, whether you’re driving or not.
- There’s only one warning light on the dash. It’s blindingly bright and offers no information about what’s wrong. The light comes on approximately ten times a day.
- The warning light also causes the horn to honk. There is no way to turn off this feature.
- Your car’s garage is located on the second floor, right next to your bedroom, so that you don’t miss any of those delightful horn honks.
- You have to change the filter about every three hours.
- The car flails and wiggles the whole time you’re changing the filter.
- The car does not come with an owner’s manual. You can buy a third-party manual if you wish; there are about 50,000 to choose from, and they all offer conflicting information.
- You do not get a choice of color. If the car is an unexpected color, people get very upset.
- The car does not drive. At all. If you want to take the car somewhere, you must tow it using another vehicle.
- If you try to trade in the car for another, better functioning model, you will be arrested.
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