Monthly Archives: November 2016

Step 1: Find old video games you weren’t playing anymore.

Step 2: Sell them.

Step 3: Donate to the ACLU.

Done!

Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin discover that their beloved homeland, the Shire, has been taken over by a “wicked fool,” who now seems to be in over his head as his “ruffian” allies seize power in his name.

Frodo is stunned at the news, but Merry advises him that “You won’t rescue the Shire…just by being shocked and sad.” They discuss strategy, and Pippin says they should hide for a while.

“No!” said Merry. “It’s no good ‘getting under cover.’ That is just what people have been doing, and just what these ruffians like. They will simply come down on us in force…No, we have got to do something at once.”

“Do what?” said Pippin.

“Raise the Shire!” said Merry. “Now! Wake all our people! They hate all this, you can see: all of them except perhaps one or two rascals, and a few fools that want to be important, but don’t at all understand what is really going on. But Shire-folk have been so comfortable so long they don’t know what to do. They just want a match, though, and they’ll go up in fire.”

Always been one of my favorite chapters.

Take a look at the headline and picture above. Take a moment — and I mean this seriously — take a moment to decide what you think about it.

Okay? Okay.

This headline is not something I made up. It is a real “story” on a genuine “news” site (using both terms very loosely). The site is called Breitbart — a vanguard of what is known, euphemistically, as the “alt right.”

Well, that headline could just be clickbait, you might think. Maybe the article’s not so bad.

Judge for yourself: Here’s the article. A few samples of the text:

Women are — and you won’t hear this anywhere else — screwing up the internet for men by invading every space we have online and ruining it with attention-seeking and a needy, demanding, touchy-feely form of modern feminism that quickly comes into conflict with men’s natural tendency to be boisterous, confrontational and delightfully autistic.

And:

Women should just log off. Given that men built the internet, along with the rest of modern civilisation, I think it’s only fair that they get to keep it.

And:

Broadband access to the female internet will cost more than the male internet, since women love whining endlessly about the “pink tax” they supposedly pay. On the other hand, the female internet will only be 77 per cent as fast as the male internet. A bandwidth gap, if you will.

I trust you get the idea.

That’s just one article, you might think. Maybe the rest of Breitbart isn’t so bad.

Here are some other Breitbart headlines:

• Birth Control Makes Women Unattractive and Crazy
• Gabby Giffords: The Gun Control Movement’s Human Shield
• After the Pulse Club Massacre, It’s Time for Gays to Come Home to Republican Party

I trust you get the idea.

Who’s responsible for all this? Who’s in charge of Breitbart?

Meet Steve Bannon:

He ran Breitbart (as executive chairman) from 2011 until a few months ago. The site exists in its current form because he made it that way. The headlines above genuinely represent the kind of message he is trying to spread.

Why should I care? you might very reasonably ask. So he’s an internet troll. So what? Why are we even talking about this guy?

I’m glad you asked.

See, it’s a funny story, because — haha, oh man, you’ll love this, I just found out — it turns out that…

THAT GUY IS THE TOP ADVISER TO THE PRESIDENT-ELECT OF THE UNITED STATES.

Just FYI.

If you’re not sure who represents you in Congress, now’s a good time to find out. Remember, it’s their job to represent you, whether you’re in the same party or not.

A brief guide to talking to your representatives effectively, written by someone who used to receive those calls and letters. “But, ultimately,” she says, “no matter what you do, if you communicate with your member of Congress at all, you are ahead of most people.”

Remember: calling your representatives is sorta like voting, except you can do it as often as you want.

If you need a refresher, here’s the U.S. Constitution and all 27 amendments, along with clear, simple explanations of every part.

And if you want to donate money to somebody who’s ready to protect the Constitution and the civil liberties it guarantees, my suggestion would be the ACLU.

The ACLU has been around for almost 100 years. They were virtually alone in opposing Japanese internment during World War II. They were instrumental in the landmark Brown v. Board of Education case that ended “separate but equal” schools. And they’ve received a big surge in donations since November 9.

Good night, and good luck.

Michael Moore posted a Morning After To-Do List on Facebook, and it’s been making the rounds. He’s got five items on it. Because so many people seem to agree with him, I thought it was worth looking at his suggestions one at a time.

1. Take over the Democratic Party and return it to the people. They have failed us miserably.

I actually do agree with this one…to a point.

Presumably he’s talking about Hillary getting the nomination rather than Bernie. Yes, the DNC did a lot of shady stuff during the primaries, and that was wrong, and it needs to be fixed. Yes, the Democrats’ primary process (and the Republicans’ too, for that matter) is byzantine and dysfunctional. Yes, voters have a right to be mad.

But let’s be real: Even if the primaries reflected voters’ desires perfectly, Hillary probably still would’ve gotten nominated. And even if Bernie had won, there’s absolutely no way to know if he would’ve beaten Trump. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something. So let’s not get too terribly cranked up over this.

2. Fire all pundits, predictors, pollsters and anyone else in the media who had a narrative they wouldn’t let go of and refused to listen to or acknowledge what was really going on. Those same bloviators will now tell us we must “heal the divide” and “come together.” They will pull more hooey like that out of their ass in the days to come. Turn them off.

I keep hearing people say “The pollsters were wrong, the pollsters were wrong.” If you actually look at the data, the pollsters were pretty damn close. Polls predicted Hillary would win by an amount barely above the margin of error. Nate Silver — who I admire even more after this election — had a statistical model based mostly on the polls, and he gave Trump a 25% chance of winning, which is fairly high. (If you flipped a coin twice and got tails both times, you wouldn’t be terribly surprised.)

Also, good polling is extremely difficult to do. You have to account for a million implicit biases. To the extent that the pollsters “failed” at all, they failed at a very, very difficult job. And nobody — not Michael Moore, not Donald Trump, I mean nobody — knew who was going to win. This was a very close, very uncertain, staggeringly complex race, and the world just isn’t as predictable as we’d like it to be.

Moore says we shouldn’t try to “heal the divide” or “come together.” That’s absurd, and it’s a very Trump-like thing to say. Trump is all about us vs. them. But the whole point is that we’re supposed to be better than Trump, not just on the opposite side. And if Moore thinks that “coming together” has to mean compromising your principles, then he’s confused about what those words mean.

3. Any Democratic member of Congress who didn’t wake up this morning ready to fight, resist and obstruct in the way Republicans did against President Obama every day for eight full years must step out of the way and let those of us who know the score lead the way in stopping the meanness and the madness that’s about to begin.

So let me get this straight. For the last eight years, we (i.e., liberals) have been angry about the GOP’s knee-jerk obstructionism, and now that we’re on the other side, it’s our moral obligation to…do the exact same thing?

Of course we have to fight and resist whatever insanity is coming. But don’t sink to Trump’s level. Fight back in a way that demonstrates how we want our democracy to work.

4. Everyone must stop saying they are “stunned” and “shocked”. What you mean to say is that you were in a bubble and weren’t paying attention to your fellow Americans and their despair. YEARS of being neglected by both parties, the anger and the need for revenge against the system only grew. Along came a TV star they liked whose plan was to destroy both parties and tell them all “You’re fired!” Trump’s victory is no surprise. He was never a joke. Treating him as one only strengthened him. He is both a creature and a creation of the media and the media will never own that.

Being shocked is not only natural, it’s reasonable. I fully understood that Trump had a decent shot at winning. But it’s one thing to know that you might get punched in the gut, and it’s quite another thing when it actually happens.

As for the media — yes, they carry some share of the blame, but only some. During the election, I saw dozens and dozens of articles and editorials that spelled out Trump’s insanity in big, clear letters. At some point, the voters themselves have to bear responsibility.

Moore’s right about one thing: Everyone, liberals and conservatives alike, tends to create a self-reinforcing opinion bubble, and we do need to fight that habit. We do need to understand the anger, the despair, and the arguments of the human beings who live outside our comfort zone.

One might almost say that we need to…come together and heal the divide?

5. You must say this sentence to everyone you meet today: “HILLARY CLINTON WON THE POPULAR VOTE!” The MAJORITY of our fellow Americans preferred Hillary Clinton over Donald Trump. Period. Fact. If you woke up this morning thinking you live in an effed-up country, you don’t. The majority of your fellow Americans wanted Hillary, not Trump. The only reason he’s president is because of an arcane, insane 18th-century idea called the Electoral College. Until we change that, we’ll continue to have presidents we didn’t elect and didn’t want. You live in a country where a majority of its citizens have said they believe there’s climate change, they believe women should be paid the same as men, they want a debt-free college education, they don’t want us invading countries, they want a raise in the minimum wage and they want a single-payer true universal health care system. None of that has changed. We live in a country where the majority agree with the “liberal” position. We just lack the liberal leadership to make that happen (see: #1 above).

Hillary Clinton won the popular vote…by a margin of 0.2%. If a butterfly in Florida had flapped its wings differently, Trump might have won. The truth is, they tied.

Yes, the Electoral College needs to disappear. But let’s be honest: How many liberals would be complaining about it right now if it had gotten Hillary elected? By all means, let’s reform the system, but let’s do it for the right reasons.

Whew. Okay. That felt good.

So this has been three political posts in a row. Next post is about something else, I promise!

Perhaps, like me, you’re still reeling from last night’s election result. Perhaps that mix of shock, revulsion, and anxiety — not to mention real concern for your fellow citizens — is still rattling in your skull. If so, take your time, get it out of your system. And once you’ve come to grips with the reality that Donald Trump will be the next president of the United States…

What now?

Let’s start with some advice from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: Don’t panic. As I said yesterday, the USA has survived adversaries bigger, tougher, and a hell of a lot smarter than Donald Trump. We’ll get through this. Not unscathed, not without casualties and pain (which will fall disproportionately on minorities), but the country will make it.

In particular, remember that the U.S. Constitution is specifically designed to prevent the leader from having too much power. Yes, Trump’s party now controls both houses of Congress, but not by a terribly wide margin. (The Senate is especially close.) Yes, Trump will likely pack the Supreme Court with as many conservative justices as he can manage, but the Court’s rulings are less partisan than its reputation might suggest. Yes, the power of the Executive has been growing steadily ever since George Washington — but then, a lot of other powers have, too.

And because the U.S. Constitution is the greatest check on Trump’s power, it follows immediately that our strongest weapon against him is respecting our own institutions as a democracy. In particular, it means accepting that he really is going to be our president, rightfully and legitimately.

Trump claimed over and over, without a shred of evidence, that the election would be rigged. That was dangerous and childish. We’re better than that. The election was not rigged. Our election rules are flawed, yes, but they were followed correctly. That’s a good thing.

I was reading news reports of protesters with signs like “Time to Revolt” and “Not My President.” Both are probably just venting emotion, but if we want anyone to listen, we should choose our words carefully. “Time to Revolt” plays straight into Trump’s hand, while “Not My President” is simply inaccurate — or at least it will be on January 20.

But let’s be honest — passively accepting the democratic process is the easy part. We’re good at passive. If you want to make a difference and stand up to whatever crazy horrible nonsense Trump has coming our way, here are the best options I see right now.

• Keep voting. Keep participating. I imagine some people will see this election as proof that their vote didn’t matter. I think it’s proof that our votes matter enormously. Yes, it sucks that Hillary won the popular vote but lost the Electoral College, but let’s be honest, her edge in the popular vote was razor-thin anyway. And it’s not like you can suddenly be surprised that the Electoral College exists. It’s been around, in one form or another, since the Constitution itself.
• Volunteer. Find a cause you believe in and work for it. If you believe in education, tutor someone. If you think you could help at a food bank, give it a shot. Even if it’s not directly related to politics, every good thing you do makes our country a little stronger, a little more resilient, hopefully a little smarter — in other words, a little more Trump-proof.
• Donate. I plan to give a lot of money in the months and years ahead to the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), which is dedicated to opposing the sort of Bill-of-Rights-shredding nonsense that Trump keeps going on about. Don’t like the ACLU? That’s fine — somewhere out there is a group worthy of your money. Even if all you can afford is twenty bucks a year, that’s better than nothing.
• Learn. A little knowledge can be dangerous — so learn a lot. What exactly do the Constitution and the Bill of Rights say? What has history taught us about saber-rattling and persecuting immigrants? Trump’s platform is based largely on lies, half-truths, and distortions. Crime is up! …except crime has actually been declining for decades. Muslims need to report terrorism! …except they already are, with remarkable zeal. Obama founded ISIS! …except, you know, not.
• Protest. Some people see protesting as somehow wrong, or un-American. Actually it’s about as American as you can possibly get, being enshrined in the First Amendment. And nonviolent protesting isn’t rioting. It’s just gathering with signs and/or pamphlets and/or whatever to spread a message to fellow citizens. I’ve done it four or five times in my life. You get permission from the city authorities, you do your thing for a few hours, you go home. It’s even kinda fun — and I’m a huge introvert. So if something really bugs you, why not get a group to together and MAKE SOME NOISE? At a reasonable volume, of course.

What not to do:

• Don’t give up. Cynicism doesn’t mean you’re wise; cynicism means you’re bad at logic. Apathy means handing even more power to the people you didn’t like in the first place. Not everyone has the time or energy or ability to fight the (nonviolent) good fight, but don’t let it be because you think it doesn’t matter.
• Don’t demonize the other side. Trump called Hillary “the devil,” but we don’t need to sink that low. As my friend Ben recently said, most of Trump’s supporters aren’t voting for him because they hate a whole bunch of people, they’re voting for him because they’re worried or frightened or angry. That doesn’t excuse what they did, but it means they’re human. (So is Trump, incidentally.) I’ve done — and believed — a lot of boneheaded things in my life, and I’m sure I’ve got more ahead of me. Better yet, try not to think of “them” as “the other side” at all. We all have blind spots. What can we learn from voices outside our echo chamber?
• Don’t tell yourself this is okay. I’m all about peace, reconciliation, and staying positive. But let’s not kid ourselves. Something horrifying has happened. As a straight white upper-middle-class native-born non-Muslim male American citizen, I’m not terribly concerned about my own well-being. But a lot of people in this country — and outside it, too — have reason to be very concerned. Trump wants to torture people. He wants to kill people just for being related to suspected terrorists. He wants to institutionalize religious intolerance. These are not things I suspect, they are things he has said. This is not okay. None of it is okay.

I need to think more about all this. I promised myself I’d make a strong effort to oppose Trump in the general election, but in the end, I didn’t do a whole hell of a lot. I really don’t want to make the same mistake twice.

After all — someday my son’s going to ask me about these years.

We did it.

We elected a man with zero experience. A man who advocates war crimes, who likes torture, who lies pathologically, peddles conspiracy theories, and throws temper tantrums. A man who endlessly parades his racism, sexism, and chronic ignorance. A man who’s vowed to chip away at the Bill of Rights and the Geneva Convention. A man with no credible solutions to any of our major problems.

Go team.

Is there a word that means “surreal” and “horrible” at the same time? All I can think of is “Kafkaesque,” but that isn’t quite right.

Sigh.

I’m not so much depressed that he’s going to be our next president. If we can survive the Civil War and the Great Depression, we can survive this. But I’m depressed that we chose him. I’m embarrassed for us as a country.

Impeachment doesn’t give me a lot of hope either. I think it’s fairly likely he will commit impeachable offenses, but if he does, I think (1) a Republican-controlled Congress isn’t terribly likely to convict, and (2) Pence isn’t much better.

Any silver linings here?

Maybe one. This election is like a kid who finds a moldy, soggy bread crust on the ground and just has to eat it. The grown-ups keep saying no, but he finally manages to wolf it down. It’s going to be pretty awful for the kid, sure. But he just might learn something about eating moldy soggy bread crusts he finds on the ground. He might be better off in the long run.

I can hope, anyway.

Whatever happens in the next four years, I doubt it will be boring.