“Not this again!” you cry. “Every time Buckley gets inspired with some new story, he feels compelled to post it here, and I feel compelled to read it, and uuuUUGGGHHHhh another ten minutes of my life wasted!”
First of all, hypothetical reader: wasted? Really? That’s harsh, man. Harsh.
Second, you don’t have to read it. I mean, sure, if nobody reads it, I’ll whimper myself to sleep, curled up next to the comforting warmth of the hot water heater in the basement, my only true friend in the world. But don’t feel obligated, is what I’m saying.
And finally: this story won’t waste ten minutes of your life, because it’s super short. It’ll only waste, like, one minute of your life.
Chuck Wendig’s challenge this week is to write a story about revenge – but in a mere 100 words, instead of 1,000. Heck, I’m over 100 words already in this introduction, that’s how short 100 words is. That said, I should probably get to it.
Here’s the story:
System.Log
PC.Print(“Listen, Chelsea, I’m totally over the divorce. And the cheating.”);
Espresso.Brew();
PC.Print(“I’m thrilled you get to keep the G12 GadgeTech Programmable House I spent three years building for you.”);
TV.Play(“Richard_Simmons_Disco_Sweat.wmv”);
PC.Print(“I know you love your espresso maker, your ferret Aristophanes, and your $28K collection of Lawrence Welk dinner plates.”);
Plate_Collection.Open();
PC.Print(“So why separate the things you love?”);
Ferret_Cage.Dispense(Espresso);
PC.Print(“P.S. ‘IHATEJUSTIN’ works as a Facebook status. As a network password, not so much.”);
Ferret_Cage.Open();
Brian D. Buckley 
Number 1: Reading your stories is NEVER time wasted. You know, not that I’m all stalkery or anything. *shuffles foot*
Number 2: Great story. You got an awful lot of revenge into those 100 words.
Thanks Jo. 🙂 I saw you’ve entered the fray as well. Looking forward to reading it when I get a chance.
I had to go back and read it again before I fully understood it, but once I did, I giggled out loud. I can almost see it as a screen capture on a fail.blog!
Hi Kirsten! Glad it at least made sense the second time around, that’s better than I can say for some of my stories…
Thanks for reading!
Oh the Lulz
Great entry man, I adore the creativity.
And by the way I’m still waiting for my free puppy.
Hey, thanks Gary! By the way, I read your story too, but couldn’t find a way to comment…not sure why. Maybe I’m missing something. But I did enjoy it.
Gary – looks like the problem was my browser, not your site.
I’m not too sure how Tumblr works with comments, so if you like you can leave a comment on my actual blog here http://www.garyaswaby.com/195/terribleminds-100-word-flash-fiction-challenge-revenge/
Appreciate you reading it either way.
So original, and it made me clap with glee. I love how the soundtrack to destruction isn’t classical music. It’s Richard Simmons.
Lara – sort of appropriate, no? Thanks for reading!
This is brilliant. My favorite entry so far for this challenge.
Glad you enjoyed it.