Trump’s wisdom is deep. Like, really deep. So deep that it might sound like stupidity to the untrained ear. What it is, in fact, is revolutionary.
Take, for instance, the infamous comments he made about John McCain back in July of last year. Trump was at a rally, talking to a Republican pollster named Frank Luntz.
Trump: “…I supported him [McCain] for president. I raised $1 million for him. That’s a lot of money. I supported him, he lost, he let us down. But he lost and I never liked him much after that ’cause I don’t like losers. But, but — Frank, Frank, let me get to it.
Luntz: “He’s a war hero. He’s a war hero …”
Trump: “He’s not a war hero …”
Luntz: “He’s war hero.”
Trump: “He is a war hero …”
Luntz: “Five and a half years in a Vietnamese prison camp …”
Trump: “He’s a war hero because he was captured. I like people that weren’t captured. So he’s a war hero …”
Luntz: “Do you agree with that?”
Trump: “He’s a war hero, because he was captured, okay? I believe, perhaps, he’s a war hero. But right now he said some very bad things about a lot of people. So what I said is John McCain, I disagree with him that these people aren’t crazy.”
To summarize: John McCain (1) is not a war hero, (2) is a war hero, and (3) is only technically a “war hero” because he was captured, like a loser.
Some might call these statements contradictory, confusing, petty, disrespectful, cynical, self-serving, small-minded, misleading, unnecessary, ridiculous, and absurd. Such people aren’t grasping the deeper wisdom.
The point is simple. Labels like “war hero” don’t really matter. What really matter are labels like “loser.” And if you get captured, you’re a loser.
This deep insight upends centuries – nay, millennia – of conventional wisdom, which says that enduring enemy capture is difficult, harrowing, and often ennobling. Obviously, the conventional establishment logic is misguided. After all, if you get captured, aren’t you a loser by definition?
With that in mind, for the edification of all, I present:
A List of Losers (i.e. people who have been captured or arrested by opponents)
- Jesus Christ
- St. Peter
- St. Paul
- John the Baptist
- Daniel (Old Testament)
- Joseph (Old Testament)
- Julius Caesar
- Joan of Arc
- William Wallace
- Queen Elizabeth I
- Galileo Galilei
- Napoleon Bonaparte
- Paul Revere
- Thomas Paine
- Henry David Thoreau
- Fyodor Dostoevsky
- Susan B. Anthony
- Anne Frank
- Rosa Parks
- Alan Turing
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
- Winston Churchill
- Mahatma Gandhi
- Nelson Mandela
- George Takei
Such a long list of losers may give pause to even such a venerable sage as Mr. Trump. If he can’t rely on any of them as role models, then who can he turn to?
That’s something the philosopher must decide on his own. But I may be able to offer some guidance, in my own small way.
A List of People Who Have Never Been Captured (to my knowledge)
- Judas Iscariot
- The Prophet Mohammed
- Hillary Clinton
Mr. Trump, you’re welcome.