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Transcendence: The Princess

Each week, we’ll look at another example of what I call a “moment of transcendence” – a scene from a show, a passage from a book, or anything else, that I find soul-piercingly resonant: joyful, sad, awe-inspiring, terrifying, or whatever. These moments are highly subjective, so you may not feel the same way I do, but nevertheless I’ll try to convey why I find the fragment so powerful. I hope we can enjoy it together.


This year, I received from my sister-in-law – among other wonderful Christmas gifts – a copy of The Princess and the Goblin by George MacDonald. I finished it last night.

I’ve been wanting to read it for a while now. It came out in 1872, and MacDonald’s work is supposed to have been enormously important in the modern fantasy genre, influencing such luminaries as Lewis Carroll, J. R. R. Tolkien, Madeleine L’Engle, G. K. Chesterton, Walter de la Mare, and C. S. Lewis.

Honestly, I was pretty underwhelmed with the book itself. Maybe it was a big deal at the time, to an audience who had never seen anything like The Lord of the Rings, but by today’s standards it feels a little…boring. Nobody ever seems to be in much danger, aside from a few brief moments, since a certain benevolent caretaker solves most problems with her magic before they get too serious. Also, there’s a fair bit of moralizing and setting-a-good-example for children, which gets old fast. (The lack of such moralizing, by the way, is one of the reason Carroll’s Alice books were – and are – so popular.)

On the plus side, The Princess and the Goblin is astonishingly gender-equal by 1872 standards, and – in my opinion – better than average in that department even by today’s standards. So that’s pretty cool.

Despite being kind of dull, however, the story does have its moments. The one which struck me most was this brief exchange, in which the eight-year-old Princess Irene first meets her great-great-grandmother, whose supernaturally long life and somewhat youthful appearance are both due to enchantment.

“Is that what makes your hair so white?”

“No, my dear. It’s old age. I am very old.”

“I thought so. Are you fifty?”

“Yes – more than that.”

“Are you a hundred?”

“Yes – more than that. I am too old for you to guess. Come and see my chickens.”

It’s that last part: I am too old for you to guess. A simple, understated little sentence, but more effective in its own way than a dramatic speech about watching kingdoms rise and fall. Don’t worry about it, child – I am beyond what you can imagine. Now let’s go look at my animals.

I’m just starting to read The Arabian Nights now, a version edited by Muhsin Mahdi and translated by Husain Haddawy, which seems pretty good and faithful to the older versions of the stories. More thoughts as I think them.

Blog Returns Monday, December 28

In the meantime, have you read about SpaceX’s successful vertical rocket landing at Cape Canaveral? Every now and then you think Oh yeah, our species is pretty amazing.

Merry Christmas, Joyous Late December, Happy New Year!

Friday Link

I saw The Force Awakens with six of my friends last night. It’s wonderful. Not perfect – nothing is – but wonderful. If you’re not sure whether to see it, you should see it. I might have more to say later.

In unrelated news: a while back, I took twenty of my favorite snippets of poetry and added them to Buffy screenshots that fit what the poem was saying. I tried to make the typography interesting, even though I don’t know much about typography. So here’s that.

Have an exemplary weekend!

The B Keeper

My name is Brian Buckley. I am married to Betsy Buckley. My blog buddy is Ben. My Boston buddy is Benasutti. My Batman-reading buddy is Burns.

I’m a Buckeye. I have a bachelor’s degree in binary, bytes, Booleans, and broadband.

My height is Brobdingnagian.

I’m still reading the Bible (slowly).

I like Big Bend National Park, BuffyBabylon 5Bill NyeBreaking Bad, Big Bang Theory, the Big Bang Theory, Braid, Bach, Beethoven, the Beatles, bulldogs, Barack, and Percy Bysshe Shelley. I’d make a beeline for Brent Spiner. I appreciate Bobs Dylan, Seger, Marley, and Kane. I can sing the entirety of Be Prepared.

I went to the National Spelling Bee (twice) and got booted for bungling letters (twice).

My favorite movie is Little Miss Sunshine. That doesn’t have a B in it, I’m just telling you.

I read books. Especially books with Bilbo Baggins, balrogs, balefire, Bene Gesserit, or Bean. Also, Bicentennial Man.

I like appropriately sized butts and I cannot lie.

My second-favorite half of the timeline is B.C.

I wanna be a billionaire.

Bye!

Surveys – You’re Doing It Wrong

I’m one of those people who actually fills out customer feedback surveys. I figure, it’s a bit silly to complain about bad customer service if I’m never willing to tell them what I want. Asking for feedback should be encouraged, right?

So I usually follow the links and click the little boxes.

Sometimes, though…

Take a look at this e-mail I got from Anytime Fitness (addressed to my wife). See if you can spot the problem.

Dear BETSY,

Your feedback is incredibly important to us. Let us know how we’re doing by providing your candid feedback in this quick survey. The survey itself takes no more than five minutes to complete. Your input will be shared with myself and the club staff along with our corporate office to help improve your experience with our clubs.  If necessary, we may be in contact with you to better understand your needs as a member.

To access the survey, please use the following link.

[link]

Yours sincerely,

[name withheld]
ANYTIME FITNESS

Do you see it?

If you answered, “We may be in contact with you to better understand your needs,” DING! We have a winner.

From their perspective, this probably seems fine. Their customers have something negative to say, well, they want to understand it better. So they ask.

From my perspective, though, this simply translates to, “If you give us anything less than glowing praise, we’ll probably e-mail or even call to bug you about it.”

Well, screw that. If I wanted to talk to you, I’d talk to you. What I want is to go the gym and not have a conversation about it.

Hm. I guess that qualifies as feedback. Right?

“Crazy” is Lazy

In The Crane Girl, I have a character called the Empress. And she’s crazy.

Basically, this means she’s a typical supervillain – megalomaniacal, power-hungry, cruel, manipulative, uninterested in anybody’s needs but her own. She schemes against the heroes, puts them in danger, moves the plot along.

And she’s boring.

One of my tasks in revision is to make her interesting, which means making her real, humanizing her (though she isn’t, technically, human). And that means moving past the “crazy” label. Because calling a character “crazy,” and stopping there, is just as lazy and shallow as calling a character “evil.” It might be true, for some definition of the word, but it’s not very insightful. It’s a reaction, not a description.

“Crazy,” you see, doesn’t tell you what somebody is. It tells you what somebody isn’t – they aren’t mentally healthy. (As if “mentally healthy” weren’t vague enough on its own.)

Describing a character as “crazy” is like describing a car as “not a Corolla.” It’s just a negation, and not a very helpful one. That’s what I mean by saying it’s lazy. It sidesteps the real work of developing the character, turning them into a genuine person.

Having had mental illness myself, I can tell you that it comes in a million different flavors, and even two people of the same “flavor” – depression, schizophrenia, whatever – will never be alike, aside from sharing certain symptoms.

Moreover, the actions of the mentally ill make just as much sense as the actions of the mentally healthy, in the context of their skewed internal parameters. Staying in bed all day, every day, makes sense if you’re exhausted and nothing you do brings satisfaction. Cutting yourself makes sense if it’s the only way you know to break through a universal numbness. Killing yourself makes sense if every second of your life is torture. These aren’t healthy or wise behaviors, and if you’re tempted, you have to fight that temptation with all your strength. But they are understandable behaviors.

As I mentioned above, “evil” characters often fall into the same boat. Authors slap an “evil” label on their villain, and he’s good to go. Except, nobody’s evil for the sake of evilness. They may do evil things, but there’s always a reason, no matter how irrational or selfish. What’s more, nobody is just evil. Murderers may cry over sunsets and church music. Wife beaters may work sixty-hour weeks to take care of their kids. This doesn’t excuse their terrible crimes, but it hints at the truth: nobody’s all light or all shadow.

We’re all people, with all the sanity and craziness and complexity that implies, and well-written characters are people too. Darth Vader is a cruel mass murderer, but he’s protective of his wife and loves his son and saves the galaxy. The Borg Queen really believes she’s elevating the beings she assimilates. Even Satan is a fallen angel.

So a big part of my revision is about examining my villains, and asking myself: if I know who they aren’t, then who are they?

Come to think of it, that’s pretty good advice for heroes, too.

Friday Link

Tina Fey would like you to remember that Star Wars isn’t the only movie arriving December 18.

Sisters: The Farce Awakens.

Have an acceptable weekend!

The Ten Commandments of the Internet

…which, unlike the original Ten Commandments, are numbered:

  1. Never read the comments on a news story.
  2. If you read the comments on a news story, never, ever argue with the commenters.
  3. Be weird. Don’t be evil. Know the difference.
  4. Credit your source. Recognition is the currency of the Internet. Well, and sometimes money.
  5. Stay away from 4chan. If you don’t know what 4chan is, keep it that way.
  6. Beware of groupthink. The question is not whether you’re doing it, but how much.
  7. Don’t have anything on your website that auto-plays audio or video when the page loads. Don’t have popup ads. Don’t create a list of fifty things with every thing on a separate page. And by the way, if the first “content” I find on your site is a full-page window asking what I think of your site, you’re not going to like the answer.
  8. Self-promote in moderation. And don’t beg. It’s embarrassing.
  9. Remember that on rare occasions, information from the Internet has been known to be false.
  10. Don’t be a dick.

You’re welcome.

The Shined-ing

Here’s a fun fact (using the word fun loosely). The verb shine has two different past-tense forms: shined and shone. And they mean different things.

Shined is for the transitive meaning, as in “He shined my shoes.” Shone is for the intransitive meaning, as in “The stars shone brightly.”

What’s more, shine isn’t the only verb with an identity crisis.

The past tense of hang is either hanged or hung, depending on what you mean. Hanged is for executions: “We hanged the criminals.” Hung is for everything else: “She hung the picture on the wall.”

For weave, it’s weaved or woveWeaved is for humans, cars, etc., moving in a particular way: “He weaved in and out of traffic.” Wove is for more traditional weaving: “I wove you a sweater.”

People! THIS IS CRAZINESS. What you doin’, English.

Anybody know any other examples? Or any other CRAZY ENGLISH WEIRDNESS you’d like to share?

Friday Links

Remember that thing about the NSA? That thing where every time you called anybody for any reason, they got a record of the call, including your phone number, the number of the person you called, the date and time you called, how long you talked, and approximately where you were located? Oh yeah, that thing.

Well, they’re not doing it anymore. (According to – ahem – the people who were doing it.) The information is still collected, but now it’s just the phone companies who have it, and if the NSA wants it, they have to go get one of those “warrant” things I keep hearing about.

So. Progress.

In other news, there’s something in Japan called a hatsuyume – the first dream you have in the New Year, traditionally on the night of January 1. If you dream about Mount Fuji, an eggplant, and a hawk, it’s supposed to be super good luck.

I’m gonna be honest, that’s never happened to me.

Have a lucky weekend!