Friday Links

writer combat

ULTIMATE PERUVIAN WRITING DEATHMATCH. That is all.

robot

What’s wrong with this picture of the Russian Revolution? If you answered “there shouldn’t be a giant robot in the background,” congratulations! You nailed it. Six thousand students taking a history exam were similarly perplexed.

What happens when an Italian singer writes a song that’s pure gibberish, but designed to sound like English? You get Prisencolinensinainciusol, an utterly fascinating piece of music. My brain somehow thinks it’s English, it just can’t…quite…understand any of the words.

Have a good weekend! I’ll be back Monday with more of the answers to your Ask Brian Anything questions.

Brian Answers: Writing Advice

Ben Trube, a.k.a. The Bearded Wonder, offers up today’s question:

What single bit of writing advice would you give to yourself ten years ago?

Fear me, Younger Self! I come to you from beyond the misty barriers of time, speaking like unto an oracle, with the power of…ten extra years of doing stuff!!

Ahem.

This is an excellent question. Basically it’s asking: what’s the most important thing you’ve learned about writing in the past ten years?

I think I would say:

Know your characters better.

Sun Tzu said: “Know yourself. Know your enemy. In a thousand battles, no danger.”

If Sun Tzu had been less into battle-winnin’ and more into novel-writin’, he might have said: “Know your characters. In a thousand scenes, no danger.”

When I was younger, I built up elaborate plots with cardboard-thin characters. I tried to flesh out the characters in revision, but it never worked, because their actions were pre-determined by the elaborate plot. I was stuck.

Stories, I believe, need characters to be the foundation. You build your plot on top of them.

Now, plot is still important, and I still think you should write with an ending in mind. Otherwise you end up like Stephen King, with thousands of pages of stellar material that finally comes together with all the grace and elegance of a high school dance.

But your plot shouldn’t be so rigid that it squeezes the life from your characters. It should be loose enough to let them breathe, to assert themselves in your scenes.

And before that can happen, you have to know who they are.

One technique is to write character interviews. Just imagine sitting down with your character, asking them questions, finding out all sorts of things about them. What kind of jokes do they laugh at? What are they embarrassed about? What stories do they remember from childhood?

Above all: what do they want? And why?

Characters, I think, need strong goals to be compelling. Sometimes they don’t even realize what those goals are, but they still need to exist – and you, as the author, need to know them.

When things get difficult, which goals are your characters willing to sacrifice, and which will they cling to desperately until the end? And what is it about your character that makes those goals so compelling for them?

Think deeply, 18-year-old self.

But not so deeply that it keeps you from actually writing. Because if you’re trying to be a writer, that’s the most important thing. Keep writing.

I would’ve given you that as my advice, except you already know it, even at 18.

Thanks for the question, Ben! To all my hypothetical readers: what advice would you give your ten-years-younger self?

Still Sick

Be back tomorrow (?)

Brian Answers: The Benevolent NSA

All this week, I’m answering your questions! We’ll start the week off right with this one from Dave Higgins:

If you knew the government would remain benevolent for the remainder of human existence, and have perfect data security, would you object to them surveilling citizens?

This is a great question because it peers to the core of the privacy issue. Why are we upset about the NSA’s domestic surveillance program? Are we just worried about how it could be abused, or is there a more fundamental problem?

Let’s look at it from a few different angles.

First, of course, it would still be unconstitutional, and thus illegal. So I would still object on those grounds. But “illegal” is a much weaker objection than “immoral.” Let’s put the law aside for a moment.

Perpetual benevolence and perfect security suggest that the data collected won’t be misused for corrupt or overzealous purposes. This does, indeed, remove my main objection to the program. My biggest fear over surveillance is that the Executive branch could use its information to quietly blackmail Senators and discredit protesters. If we take that fear away, the picture looks much less grim.

Now, there’s still a question of privacy. I do feel that regardless of anything else, there is a fundamental right to keep personal things secret. We shouldn’t be watched against our will, and if we are, it’s a violation of human dignity.

But then, so is dying in a terrorist attack.

If we assume that the programs won’t be abused, and that they’re at least somewhat effective against terrorism, then I’d suck up my moral and legal concerns. So the short answer is: no, I wouldn’t object, in spite of my misgivings.

But let’s be clear that we’re describing a fantasy world. In the real world of imperfect human beings, the NSA’s insatiable appetite should worry anyone who believes in limited government.

Thanks for the question, Dave!

Friday Links

Oculus

Don’t be fooled by the duct tape on the dev kit. The Oculus Rift just might be the future of virtual reality. Sponsored by id’s John Carmack, and endorsed by everyone from Sony’s CEO to the lead designer of Minecraft, this unassuming black box grants a wider range of virtual vision than anything before, giving a total immersion experience.

A month ago, the Penny Arcade team went hands-on with the Oculus Rift. Here’s their report.

scanner

Speaking of The Future: we all know about 3D printing. How about a 3D scanner that hooks up to your iPad?

skyscraper

Remember how you used to burn holes in leaves with a magnifying glass? Turns out the same principle applies to a curved, reflective skyscraper, and some dude’s Jaguar. He’s, uh, not too happy about it.

snopeslogo

“NASA spent millions developing an astronaut pen that would work in outer space. The Soviets solved the same problem by using a pencil.”

Have you heard this story? Turns out, a story is all it is. Here’s Snopes taking the stand in NASA’s defense.

asw

And finally, here’s a photo-based webcomic that I read constantly but seldom link to: A Softer World. I read this comic and figured I had to share.

Have a good weekend, hypothetical reader! All next week I’ll be answering the Ask Brian Anything questions.

Still Can’t Sleep

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”
-Henry David Thoreau, Walden

The question is, what do we do about it? Maybe Walden needs to be next on my reading list.

Crane Girl Progress Update

I was planning to let The Crane Girl simmer in pre-writing for months yet. Character-building, world-building, plot outlining, all had plenty of work left.

But last week, on vacation, I started playing around with the novel’s first sentence in my head.

And first sentences are dangerous. They lead to first paragraphs, and by then the text in your head is long enough that you want to write it down. And once you’ve written your first paragraph, you have to write the second, and…

In the last six days, I’ve written 5,800 words. Six chapters, twenty pages, 5% of the book. And it’s fun. The words come easier than any novel I’ve written before.

I take it as a sign that the characters are stronger in this one. When you have strong characters, you don’t need as much of an outline, because once they’re in the right places they’ll do the right things on their own.

What about the world-building I still need to do? The pre-writing? What if my first draft ends up half-baked because I didn’t prepare enough?

Well, of course it’ll be half-baked. It’s a first draft. You can always do more world-building later. The beauty of writing is that it is pre-writing, if you remember to treat it that way. Chapters are expendable, and the ones you throw away enrich the ones you keep.

Gotta go. Still more writing to do before I leave for work.

Oh, and don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten your Ask Brian Anything questions. I’ll answer them all next week!

Exploring South Dakota

…and we’re back, this time for really reals.

South Dakota was beautiful. The bed was uncomfortable, the hotel breakfast was lousy, and Betsy ended up sick for most of the week, but none of that was South Dakota’s fault. You stay classy, S.D.

Rushmore

The $1 bill, the $2 bill, the $5 bill, and…ohh, awkward.

Mount Rushmore was very nice, but there isn’t much to say about it. You know exactly what you’re going to get, and you get it. Are you expecting giant presidents in a mountain? Then you won’t be disappointed.

Nah, I shouldn’t be so snarky. It really is a handsome and elegant monument. Go see it if you get the chance.

2 Eagle

‘murica.

The same day as Rushmore, we stopped at nearby Reptile Gardens, which has the largest crocodile in North America (“Maniac”), enough poisonous snakes to fell a herd of yak, and our friend the eagle up there. In the upcoming feature film to be based on our adventures, the eagle will be played by Patrick Stewart.

3 Chapel

The best thing to come out of Scandinavia since the Thor franchise.

Next day we visited the Chapel in the Hills. This remarkable church is an exact replica of a thousand-year-old chapel in Norway. We took our time, walked all around it and inside, and even followed the path in the woods out back. The weather was perfect and the setting was idyllic. A peaceful place. Might have been my favorite part of the entire trip.

4 Crazy Horse

“Hey, cloud! Yeah, I’m talkin’ to you.”

The Crazy Horse memorial was…interesting. The white statue shows what they’re planning, while the mountain in the background is the progress they’ve made so far. If completed, it would be the largest statue in the world, dwarfing our Fab Four above. Now, they’ve been working on this thing for over fifty years already, so don’t hold your breath, but you’ve got to admire the ambition. Part of me thinks that if I come back in another fifty years, they just might have it done.

Of course, opinions vary among the Lakota on whether a white guy dynamiting one of their sacred mountains really “honors” anybody, least of all Crazy Horse, but no need to mention that on the post card.

5 Devils Tower

…and Devil’s Tower will be played by Michael Dorn.

Devil’s Tower is actually in Wyoming, but we’ll give it a pass. I hiked all the way around this bad boy (a surprisingly short walk), making friends with a large snake on the way. It’s the core of an ancient volcano, left behind after the rest had eroded into oblivion. As with so much else out West, pictures don’t do justice to the sheer size and grandeur of the thing.

6 Badlands

“Badlands” is kind of judgmental, don’t you think?

Finally, we spent two days exploring Badlands National Park. We saw prairie dogs, a fox, several rams, and a whole lot of rock. Not as many hiking trails as we expected, but the scenery more than made up for it.

So, that’s that. What have you been up to for the past week?

We’re Back…But Experiencing Technical Difficulties…

I spent a week on vacation in South Dakota, had a great time, can’t wait to tell you all about it. However, my PC is feeling rebellious after seven days off. Hopefully I’ll have it all sorted out by tomorrow!

Blog Returns Monday, September 23

Sunset

Au revoir!