Happy Thanksgiving!

The blog returns Monday, November 26.

Yoda vs. Everybody 15 & 16: The Borg and Sonic

Yoda vs. the Borg Collective:

Yoda vs. Sonic the Hedgehog:

Ask Brian Anything!

I’ve been yammering on this blog for an awful long time now. I figure, maybe it’s your chance to talk.

So here’s the deal: between now and the end of the month, ask me absolutely anything you want! I will answer every single question I get. (Limit one per customer. Ahem.)

I’ve done this once before, and y’all asked plenty of questions. We got a question on programming, a question on Star Trek, a question about how I met my wife, and even a question about questions.

This time, as before, the sky is the limit. What am I saying? The multiverse is the limit, where the multiverse is defined as everything that is a thing and/or not a thing. Ask me about the new Hobbit movie, or artificial intelligence, or my silver 2006 base-model four-cylinder Honda Accord, or the Wheel of Time and its last book which comes out January 8, or the relationship between pi and Euler’s number, or wombats, or…

You get the picture.

Leave your questions right here in the comments section of this post. The deadline is November 30.

My life is an open book. What do you want to know?

Flag Fail

Right now I’m memorizing the flags of every country in the world. As with all kinds of memorization, Anki makes this immeasurably easier. I’m a little less than halfway done.

But flags are strange, and the more you learn about them, the more weird little things you begin to notice.

For instance: what are the requirements for a national flag? It should represent your nation, it should use meaningful colors and symbols, it should be a source of pride…blah, blah, blah.

When you get down to brass tacks, there’s only one real requirement for a national flag: it should be unique. It should successfully identify your nation as separate from all other nations.

Right?

Sadly, some flags don’t even manage that.

For instance, here’s the Netherlands:

Not exactly unusual, a little similar to Russia and France, but still, a solid tricolor. Can’t beat red, white, and blue.

Luxembourg thought so too. Here’s their flag:

Okay, you’re thinking, maybe that’s not so bad. Yeah, they’re pretty close, but Luxembourg is still visibly lighter, isn’t it? They’re not exactly the same colors. No two countries would pick exactly the same colors…would they?

You tell me. Here’s Indonesia:

…and here’s Monaco:

Well, all right, the colors are the same. But the proportions are a bit different. They’re both rectangles, but Monaco is more square-ish, isn’t it? That’s something, right?

No two countries would pick flags so alike in both color and ratio as to be virtually indistinguishable, would they?

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Romania:

…and Chad:

Yeah.

In the face of such painful patriotic plagiarism, let’s give credit where it’s due. When it comes to originality, one country stands head, shoulders, and mountains above the rest.

You stay classy, Nepal.

Friday Links

Don't think we forgot about you, MONGOLIA

A researcher claims that throughout history, Great Britain has invaded all but 22 countries. Hey, give it time. C’mon, Queen…don’t you want a legacy bigger than fancy hats?

welp

Straight from Cracked: 6 Insane (But Convincing) Fan Theories About Kids’ Cartoons. First up: the characters in Spongebob Squarepants are the result of nuclear testing. Super Mario Bros. 3 and Aladdin make appearances too. Check it out!

See you next week.

Steampunk Triforce

It represents Wisdom, Courage, Power, and Bird.

Modeled off the Triforce Crest from the Legend of Zelda games, with coloring based on the Hylian Shield. Not strictly steampunk, I guess, but that’s the vibe I get from looking at it.

I did the drawing in ink, then colored it afterward with Paint.NET.

What do you think?

A Poem for Wednesday

Raindrops

Raindrops forget they’re falling.
Weightless, lightning-laureled,
they sit beneath the storm,
while round them upward
roars the rushing air.
Umbrella-holders crouch,
angry and late for work
and sorrowful,
cursing the raindrops
which are right on time
and free
and have never been dry.

Postmortem: American Election 2012

messy and complicated

Image by magnaen.

It’s been one week since Election Day. By now, of course, everyone in the world knows the results of our Presidential contest. But despite all the hype lavished on Obama and Romney, the election was about a lot of other people and issues than just them.

In no particular order, here are my Top 9 results from Election 2012:

1. Pot is legal now.

Well, sort of.

Two states – Washington and Colorado – voted to legalize marijuana. Lots of other states had already given the OK to medicinal use, but this was the first time it’s been green-lighted for, ahem, recreational purposes.

This is a huge win, because America’s war on marijuana is incredibly harmful and serves little real purpose.

It’s harmful because we spend millions of dollars making police chase down a drug no more dangerous than alcohol. It’s harmful because we spend millions more keeping thousands of pot users and dealers locked up. It’s harmful because it creates yet another black market, feeding even more power to gangs foreign and domestic. And it’s harmful because it deprives our governments of revenue from taxing pot in a time when deficits are nearing a crisis point.

Of course, federal law still prohibits all marijuana use, full stop, so it remains to be seen how the Washington and Colorado decisions will play out in practice. If nothing else, it should give the court-watchers something to talk about.

2. Ohio’s Issue 2 was defeated.

Voters in my state shot down – by a wide margin – a law that would have handed redistricting power to a nonpartisan commission, away from the politicians chosen by those districts. Not entirely sure why this lost, but I think it’s because the ballot text was incredibly long and complicated. In the future, simpler may be better when it comes to explaining the issues.

3. Gay marriage makes a clean sweep.

Another big win: same-sex marriage was on the ballot in four different states, and in all four, it got the best possible result. In Maine, Maryland, and Washington, voters decided – for the first time in the nation – to legalize same-sex marriage. (Other states have legalized this in the past, but never by direct democratic vote.) In Minnesota, gay marriage remains illegal, but voters nixed a plan to put the prohibition directly in the state constitution. You take what you can get.

I think about one of my good friends from work, who recently conquered her fear and came out as a lesbian, whose mother still hasn’t forgiven her. When I think that someday – hopefully a someday not too distant – she could have the same freedom to marry that I took for granted two years ago, it makes me very happy.

Similar to the marijuana situation, gay marriage is officially unrecognized at the federal level (regardless of state law), thanks to the Defense of Marriage Act. But with public support for gay marriage past the 50% mark nationwide, equality is only a matter of time. The question is, how much time will it take?

Speaking of which…

4. We elected our first openly gay Senator.

I know next to nothing about Wisconsin’s Senator-elect Tammy Baldwin aside from that landmark fact. Who knows if she’ll make a good legislator? Not me. But it says something encouraging about our society that homosexuality is becoming ever less of a barrier to public achievement.

5. Puerto Rico wants to be a state.

Well, sort of.

A ballot question in Puerto Rico asked voters if they favored statehood. 61% of those who answered the question said yes.

However, hundreds of thousands of voters left the question blank. When you include those too – and why wouldn’t you? – only 45% of Puerto Rican voters actually want to belong to a state.

The path to statehood requires a majority approval by both houses of Congress, plus the President’s signature. This tepid response is hardly a mandate for action in D.C. Moreover, Puerto Rico leans overwhelmingly to the political left, meaning that the GOP-controlled House is unlikely to approve a 51st star on the flag anytime soon.

6. Ohio was not the Decider.

So much importance was ascribed to my Buckeye State, you’d have thought we were the only ones voting. (It certainly seemed that way from the ad onslaught we were subjected to.) But in the end, Obama got 332 electoral votes, meaning that even without his razor-thin win in Florida, he still could have sealed the deal sans Ohio.

Maybe next time, they’ll forget about us and put Indiana in the crosshairs. (Yeah, right.)

7. Nate Silver is mathemagical.

The major news outlets, including CNN, CBS, ABC, NBC, and NPR, all deemed the Presidential race a dead heat, absolutely tied, anybody’s guess. Meanwhile, conservative commentators of all stripes – from George Will to Rush Limbaugh to Karl Rove – predicted a Romney win.

They were all wrong.

Nonpartisan statistician Nate Silver, on his blog FiveThirtyEight.com, predicted an Obama win. That’s hardly unusual in itself. But check this out: he not only predicted the popular vote percentages both candidates would get to within 0.3%, he also correctly called which way all fifty states would go, before Election Day.

Silver was widely skewered before the election as a tool of the liberal camp. He may be taken a little more seriously now. When math and politics fight, math wins every time.

8. Elections are utterly ridiculous now.

Not that they were paragons of ethics and transparency before. But look: the U.S. collectively poured something like $6 billon into these elections. That’s billion, with a “B.” That’s twelve times the amount taxpayers spent on the Corporation for Public Broadcasting this year. That’s twice the cost of the entire Curiosity mission to Mars.

Let me say that again: by switching off this year’s political ads, we could have afforded two extra Martian rovers. Talk about win-win.

Moreover, because of new court decisions and new loopholes, rich donors can pour as much money as they want into any race they want, and they can do so anonymously. Want to try your hand at buying an election? You don’t even have to sign your name!

Beyond that, there’s the toll on the candidates themselves. Mitt Romney announced his exploratory committee for the Presidential race on April 11, 2011. Not 2012. 2011. He has literally been running for President for more than eighteen consecutive months. And that’s not even counting his almost-as-grueling run in 2008.

I’m no fan of Romney, but I wouldn’t wish that hell on anybody.

No sane person would subject themselves to that kind of torture. And when your election process rules out the sane candidates, guess what kind of candidates you get?

9. Second verse, same as the first.

After all that time and money, we’ve finally seen the new face of Washington.

And it’s exactly the same.

Sure, a few seats have changed hands, a few issues have been decided. But like it or not, at the 10,000-foot level, we are exactly where we were beforehand: a Democratic Senate, a Republican House, and President Barack Obama.

“Well, in our country,” said Alice, still panting a little, “you’d generally get to somewhere else — if you run very fast for a long time, as we’ve been doing.”

“A slow sort of country!” said the Queen. “Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!”

-Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking-Glass

Postmortem: Skyfall

Aw yeah. So brooding and pensive right now.

It’s been fifty years since the first James Bond film, Dr. No, was released to the world. This will be the twenty-third installment in the franchise, which – if you do the math – suggests they’ve been pumping them out like clockwork from the beginning. Daniel Craig is the sixth actor to play the legendary British spy.

All of which makes you wonder. Does the old showboat still have any gas left? Is 007 still good for anything besides making money?

In a word: yes.

Director Sam Mendes steps into the Bond universe for the first time, with a pedigree including such highbrow flicks as Jarhead and Richard II. But he strikes just the right balance with Skyfall – serious but not too serious, with the classic mix of intrigue, brutality, martinis, sex, and explosions.

Actually, I'm in a committed relationship and I have three kids. Why do you ask?

The plot starts out as typical spy stuff (which isn’t a bad thing, by the way). Someone’s stolen a hard drive full of ultra-top-secret data and Bond has to get it back. Car chases and fisticuffs ensue. Things get spoilery pretty quick, so I’ll just say that the stakes become more personal than usual. When I finally learned what “Skyfall” meant, it was cooler – and much different – than I expected. I was also pleasantly surprised to find that the plot wasn’t too convoluted to follow, and didn’t require knowledge of the last movie, Quantum of Solace, to understand what was going on.

The villain is great this time around, just the right mix of creepy and deadly and pathetic. Skyfall also introduces a new and very likeable Q (sans omnipotence) who emphasizes sleek, low-key technology over fancy gadgets. The focus on gritty realism instead of hi-tech wizardry is standard fare since the Casino Royale reboot, and it continues to serve them well. One other well-known character returns in this movie, with a higher profile than usual, but you’ll have to watch it to find out. (Or, you know, read Wikipedia.)

Luckily, I have a black belt in kicking down plastic.

I can’t finish without mentioning the beautiful cinematography. Skyfall is simply a gorgeous movie to watch, with shot after shot perfectly capturing the Bond atmosphere: equal parts suave sophistication and brooding underworld. You could watch this film with the sound off and still enjoy yourself.

Well, for a while, anyway. It is two and a half hours long.

Seen any good movies lately?

Friday Links

It makes me sad how accurate this is.

The Creative Process, illustrated. My wife suggested I call this graph “How I Write The Blog.”

what has science done

Some amazing art over here: Batman villain crossovers. Above is Catwoman + Poison Ivy. (Catnip?) Follow the link for five others, including Joker + Riddler and Mad Hatter + Scarecrow. Be sure to click the image to enlarge.

You stay classy, Minnesota.

Thanks to the ad nauseum election coverage, we all know that “red state” means Republican and “blue state” means Democrat. But how did the colors get those meanings? It happened a lot more recently than you may realize.

It's not easy being, uh, you know

Some encouraging news from the world of dirty politics (i.e. politics): smear campaigns don’t always work. Colleen Lachowicz, who was running for a state Senate seat in Maine, also happens to play World of Warcraft in her spare time. Her Republican opponents, apparently hoping to capitalize on voters’ ignorance of the game, ran a bunch of negative ads that made her seem like some kind of freak for living in a fantasy world and pretending to be an Orc. Well, guess what? That WoW-playing woman is now state Senator-elect. Congrats to her, and even bigger props to the people of Maine for seeing through the ridiculous FUD.

Mot, she's not.

And finally, PvP reminds us of the biggest perk of being bald.

See you next week!