Category Archives: Uncategorized

Yoda vs. Everybody 05 & 06: Gandalf & Neo

Yoda vs. Gandalf:

Yoda vs. Neo:

What is Armageddon?

The word appears only once in the Bible, in Revelation 16:16.

Then they gathered the kings together to the place that in Hebrew is called Armageddon.

For a one-hit wonder, though, Armageddon’s got quite a reputation. It’s become a byword for the Apocalypse, the cataclysmic fight that will end life as we know it and usher in the Kingdom of God. I think if you ask most people what Armageddon is, that’s the answer you’ll get: it’s a battle.

But take another look at the quote. The place called Armageddon. Technically, it’s not a battle, but the location where the battle will happen.

What’s more, this isn’t somewhere nebulous like the Garden of Eden or the Land of Nod. Armageddon (a.k.a. Tel Megiddo, the hill near the city of Meggido) is a real place you can put in your GPS and drive to. It’s located at 32.585191° N,  35.184460° E, in Israel, about half an hour’s drive from Nazareth. You can see it on Google Maps right here.

It looks like this:

"...and, if you look out the window to your left, you'll notice the End of All Things. Don't forget to stop by the gift shop!"

On the hill are the ruins of an ancient city where many battles were fought. You can see how it might’ve acquired a reputation. Read all about it.

How crazy is it that a word can become so important, it loses its original meaning entirely?

How crazy is it that Armageddon is a spot on a map?

Forty-Minute Story: Death Princess

He’d seen dead bodies before, but this was the first time he’d seen one standing up.

He knew right away she was dead. Her skin, the color of milk, glowed faintly in the moonless midnight. Though the air was still, her long gunmetal hair and ragged white dress swayed like cobwebs in a breeze. As he approached, picking his way over the rubble of the ancient castle, he made out the gray-green glimmer of her unblinking eyes.

A voice in his head told him to run, but years of practice had taught him to ignore it. What kind of treasure hunter was he, if he ran away from surprises?

He climbed over a heap of crumbling granite and stood in the ruins of a courtyard, face to face with the dead girl. She cocked her head to the side as she watched him, like a curious dog. His hands were sweating, but he ignored that too. He’d thought she might smell like rotting flesh up close, but the air was clean.

She was holding something, and as she offered it to him, he saw what it was: a bundle of lilacs. He took them cautiously without knowing why.

“Thanks,” he said. The word sounded heavy in the still dark. “Are we trading? Do you want something?” He fished around in his bag and drew out a cheap pendant, plastered with gaudy fake jewels. He wouldn’t have gotten much for it at the market anyway. “This?” He held it out.

She wasn’t even looking. Her eyes were on the flowers, which he still clutched in his left hand.

“Oh, these? You want them back?” He held them out again, but still no answer. “What do you want?”

It wasn’t until he held them up to his nose, inhaling the lilac scent, that a small smile crossed her lips.

She had gotten the treasure she was hunting.

Zzzzzz

Insomnia all night, sleep more important than blog. We’ll try it again tomorrow.

Friday Links

Sometimes you got a lotta links, and sometimes you don’t. Short roundup this week.

yoda little man who is DOWN wit his bad self

The tiny island country of Niue has made Star Wars coins part of their legal tender. Admittedly, these are limited-edition collector’s items, and not likely to be spent as coins. Still, having Yoda on government-recognized currency? Nothin’ wrong with that, amirite?

But I do bite my thumb, sir!

SMBC offers possibly the best threat of all time.

Over and out, blog buddies. See you Monday, same time, same channel.

Yoda vs. Everybody 04: Super Mario Bros.

Yoda vs. the Super Mario Bros.

Happy Things

Things to be happy about today, in no particular order:

  • The Mars rover Curiosity, a robot that humans built and then sent to another planet, is still rolling around and collecting samples. And the weather’s fine.
  • Bulldog puppies.
  • Smallpox is gone. It didn’t mysteriously disappear. We deliberately and systematically eradicated it from the planet. Not a single human being has died of smallpox since 1978.
  • You and I, both of us, are alive. Right now, this moment, breathing and awake in a universe of unbounded possibility.
  • Marshmallows.
  • Liam Neeson raised $20,000 for charity by stripping down to hot pink underwear.
  • Giant robot battle fists.
  • More than 5,000 people have climbed Mount Everest. Twelve people have walked on the moon. Three people in history have reached the deepest point in the ocean, most recently director James Cameron, six months ago.
  • Chrono Trigger.
  • You have something like 50 trillion cells in your body. That’s fifty thousand thousand thousand thousand separate individual living things working in harmony to keep you functioning.
  • Leonard Nimoy.

Got anything to add to the list?

The Debate Circus

Dark suits are in this year.

Tomorrow night, at 9:00 Eastern Time, President Obama and Governor Romney will have their first of three debates. It will be broadcast live on every major news network with an estimated viewing audience of over 50 million people. (Almost as many as read this blog!)

The word “debate” conjures up thoughts of democracy in action, of competing ideas battling for the right to govern. We imagine, perhaps, it is a way of deciding who’s wiser, who is more fit to lead our nation.

Yet a glance behind the curtain reveals the Presidential debates are nothing of the kind, and indeed, no longer can be.

The winner of a debate is not the one with better ideas, but the one who sounds better saying them. Look at the Nixon vs. Kennedy debate of 1960, where Nixon “lost” in part because he seemed pale, sweaty, and nervous in contrast to Kennedy’s calm affability. (Never mind that Nixon had just gotten out of the hospital.) Or look at Al Gore’s debate with Bush in 2000, where his repeated sighs made him appear condescending. Or John McCain, who wandered the stage in the 2008 “town hall” debate, making himself look like a confused old man.

Of course none of these perceptions had much to do with reality, but in national politics, perception is everything. Partly this is just human nature – we are, after all, emotional creatures – but the national stage of today’s elections makes the problem ten times worse. Every misstep is recorded and replayed literally hundreds of times. Every gesture, every phrase, is endlessly analyzed. Words matter more than ideas. Americans like a “progressive tax” but hate “redistribution of wealth,” even though the former is an example of the latter.

I believe that President Obama and Governor Romney are both very smart people, and that they have both thought long and hard about the real issues. But this unforgiving election allows for few mistakes and even less genuine dialogue. And so they spend hours with debate coaches, learning how to make their ideas more palatable, their sound bites snappier, their body language more confident.

Because even though none of that matters, that’s how people will judge them.

Polls indicate that the vast majority of Americans do not change who they’ll vote for after watching the debates, and I tend to think that’s a good thing. Of course we should be open-minded and willing to change. Just not because of pageantry like this.

I do plan on watching all the debates. They’re high drama, they’re history in the making, and the few minds they change could swing the election. I just don’t want to mistake them for anything other than the circus they are.

What do you think? Am I being too harsh – is there anything substantial to be learned from watching these events? Do you plan to tune in yourself?

Halloween Spider

If he jumps on your face, that means he likes you.

Betsy and I are hosting a costume party this Halloween, so we’re getting decorations ready. On our latest excursion yesterday, I picked up some poster board from Walmart and drew this guy with permanent marker. (Click photo to enlarge.)

I used this spider photo as a model, though of course I took some artistic liberties. What do you think? Creepy enough? I may do a jack-o’-lantern or a ghost later, if I have time.

Got any plans for Halloween?

Friday Links

Ew.

A new study suggests that psychopaths are not as good at smelling as the rest of us. Apparently the same region of the brain that handles empathy also does a pretty sweet job of sniffing things? The article declined to comment on why the photo of little Jimmy, shown above, was chosen to represent the psychopathic community; I’ll let you connect the dots.

Correction: Jimmy is not a psychopath.

This editor’s note from a recent issue of Vogue is one of the best corrections I’ve ever seen. I love the casual tone, like it was just some slight mistake that anyone could have made. “Oh, that’s your job? I get those two confused all the time.”

Dancing with the Stars.

So how about Kate Mulgrew’s husband ran for Governor of Ohio in 2002? Big galaxy, small world. (Non-Trekkies: nothing to see here, move along.)

There's just something about the love between a dog and a bouncy surface.

A video of a bulldog doing somersaults on a trampoline. That is all.

black magic

A randomly-generated tree fractal, different every time you refresh the page. More HTML 5 voodoo.

canis jellybeanis

The Oatmeal has an unusually heartwarming comic about owning a dog, called The Dog Paradox. (Language NSFW, heartwarming or not.)

We couldn't afford a good photo of books, so here you go.

I check the webcomic “A Softer World” every day, but I don’t often (ever?) link to it. This comic, however, is too perfect to pass up.

xkcd: where only women have hair

Meanwhile, xkcd has a unique perspective on Hollywood.

MY EYES ARE TWIN POOLS OF UNLIGHT

Finally, Buttersafe offers up the most poignant comic about giant flying snake monsters you will ever see.

Have a stellar weekend. See you Monday!